Cognitive Dissonance
by King in Yellow
Summary: Sequel to Best Enemies. REVISED. Mostly tweaks, but new scene in Ch. 11. Kim and Shego take their relation to the next level. Leaves more loose ends than the story line had at the start. Life is like that. B.E. Universe, story 02.
1. There's Got to be a Morning After

Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

This continues the story Best Enemies, and begins a few hours after the end of the first story. If you've not read that story you may be confused.

The revised version contains many small tweaks, but only one large addition - in chapter 11.

"Loving You's A Dirty Job, But Somebody's Gotta Do It," written by Jim Steinman, performed by Bonnie Tyler and Tod Rundgren. There's Got to Be a Morning After Music and lyric by Joel Hirschhorn and Al Kasha

**There's Got to be Morning After**

_There's got to be a morning after  
If we can hold on through the night  
We have a chance to find the sunshine  
Let's keep on lookin' for the light_

BAM! BAM! BAM!

"Get up Kimmie, time for breakfast."

Startled awake, Kim and Shego clung to each other.

"Ah, just a minute Dad, let me get dressed. Can you give me fifteen minutes?"

"Okay, but that is fifteen minutes for the two of you to get dressed -- not for Shego to go out the window."

The two stared at each other. Shego's mouth moved with a silent, _"Oh, shit!"_

"Oh, and Shego... Anne is watching Kim's window. She said there was some house rule I never heard of -- Kim isn't allowed to sleep with anyone she won't invite to the breakfast table… Did Kimmie tell you about that?"

Kim giggled, "I forgot to mention that to her."

Shego stared at the closed door, then back at Kim. "You people are fucking nuts," she whispered, "You make Monkey Fist look stable."

"I don't care what you say," Kim held her tight and gave Shego a big kiss. "Not after last night. Not after you admitted you loved me... Oh, Damn! I do care what you say Shego. You're still under the affects of the neural inhibitor."

Five minutes later the two headed down to the kitchen, hand-in-hand. Kim wore an over-sized t-shirt, Shego her black and green catsuit. Kim's parents noted, with some relief, that it looked like it had been slept in rather than just being put on.

"I'm not letting her go," Kim announced.

For two weeks Kim had not eaten or slept well. She still looked exhausted, but she was smiling again. Shego looked equally tired, and perhaps less happy.

"Kim, what happened to your lip?"

Unable to control herself Shego answered. "I hit her."

"YOU WHAT!"

"It's okay Mom, really. I deserved it."

"Dear God, please don't tell me that the two of you are into S & M."

"No, it's not like that. I did something I shouldn't have. Do you remember that truth ray I got hit with a couple years ago. I turned it on Shego. It's... It's not a nice thing to do to anyone. Do you remember the trouble I got in? I had to do it. I had to make her admit she loved me."

"So Shego can't lie, at least for awhile?"

"No, I can't Anne."

"What were you two doing last night?"

Shego had a pained expression on her face as she answered, "We kissed. We talked. Mostly we slept."

"That's all? And that's the truth?"

"Except for the time I hit her. I was angry."

"Yes, Mom, remember? You can't tell a lie if you've been hit with the truth ray."

"This neural inhibitor may make things easier... The four of us need a long talk. Kim, your brothers are over with the Delaney's. This will be adult conversation."

"Can we have breakfast first, I'm starving."

"James, start the griddle. I'm glad you've got your appetite back Kim. Shego? He makes very good pancakes."

"Pancakes have never sounded so good to me."

Kim giggled.

"What's so funny?"

"Just hearing that when you're under the truth ray. That means the pancakes really do sound good to you. You're going to love them, they're great."

"Thanks, Kimmie," her Dad said. "I wonder if there is a market for a home version of that truth ray? I'd really like to know which of the twins put the rocket fuel in the lawnmower last week."

"Don't joke about it Dr. Possible," Shego shuddered. "I hate it. It's like someone is playing with my brain."

Kim embraced her, "I'm sorry."

"Really?"

"Yes. No. I mean; I'm sorry I hurt you. But it was the only way to make you tell the truth. Would you be here now if I hadn't?"

"No, I wouldn't."

"See, I had to make you admit you loved me."

"It's not about love, Kim."

"Then what is it about?"

"We don't make sense together. Can't you see that? Do I need to shine the truth ray on you to make you admit it?"

"I won't. I love you. You love me. That's all that matters."

"Ah, girls, we will continue this later. Right now James is taking the first pancakes off the griddle."

Half an hour later, after the disappearance of a small mountain of pancakes, "Anne, is there any chance we can delay the talk for a little while longer? I could really use a few more hours of sleep."

"Me too, Mom."

Anne Possible sighed, she was desperate to know what was going on, but had to admit, "You both look beat. I suppose we can wait. Shego, you could use a shower --"

"It's the plasma power, Anne. When I light up it creates an ozone smell that tends to stick to my clothes and hair."

"You don't need to explain. What you need to do is borrow something from Kim and shower. James will take your uniform over to the dry cleaners. I'll make up the guest room while you're getting clean."

"I don't want her in the guest room, I want her with me!"

"Kim!"

"Mom! I want to hold her, I want to make sure she doesn't disappear again."

"Shego?"

"I would like to sleep with your daughter," Shego replied softly. "Sleep is all I plan to do, if that answers your question."

"Well... Kim, go find Shego something to sleep in. Shego, take a shower. James and I will decide what's happening while you're cleaning up. Oh, Kim, you will come down here and sit with us after you find something for Shego to wear. That shower isn't big enough for two."

"Here are the ground rules." Anne explained to her daughter and the freshly scrubbed Shego twenty minutes later. "Kim, you will leave your door open. Your father and I will be in every now and then to check on you."

James Possible coughed softly, "Uh, I would rather not walk in on them while they are asleep."

"Fine. Here's Shego's uniform. Take it to the dry-cleaners on Maple. Pay for the one-hour service and wait for it."

He stared at the green and black outfit. "What should I tell them about it, if they as ask?"

"You tell them that sometimes your wife gets a little kinky, and it's none of their business."

"Mom!"

Before they laid down for more sleep Kim put in a CD. "I've been listening to a lot of Bonnie Tyler the last couple weeks. Well, one song over and over. But she had another one that reminded me of you."

"What's that?"

"Loving You's A Dirty Job, But Somebody's Gotta Do It." Kim grinned at Shego as she found the track and hit the play button.

_Why don't you believe it when you finally found the truth  
You've been drinking poison water from the fountain of youth  
Why don't you stop tearing up everyone you need the most  
You're so busy trying to get even  
You never even try to get close_

_I can't explain it away  
It doesn't make any sense  
To know what it's like  
I guess you gotta go through it  
It doesn't matter baby  
Loving you's a dirty job  
But somebody's gotta do it  
_

They fell asleep before the track ended.

After lunch James cleared the table and Anne took an old flashlight from the catch-all drawer in the kitchen. She set it on the table in front of Shego. "I can't say I'm sorry Kim hit you with the neural inhibitor. But it would be unfair for you to be handicapped by being the only one forced to tell the truth. If you think I might be lying, point the flashlight at me and I promise to tell you the truth as best I can. James?"

"I promise also."

"Kim, I want you to promise also, honesty with Shego and with us."

"Okay Mom, I promise."

Shego pointed the flashlight at Anne, "Okay, trial run... Anne, are you happy with the idea of Kim and me?"

"No. I'm sorry Kim. I've really come to like Shego as a person. Perhaps I can accept the idea you love a woman. But you two are wrong for each other."

Shego moved the flashlight over to Kim's dad. "Sorry, Kim. I have to agree with Mom. Shego, I like you, but... You know, I'm not sure what my opinion is worth on this. If I had my way I'd have Kim locked up in a convent until she was thirty -- and we're not even Catholic."

"See Kim, it's three to one. Your parents are with me."

"No! Do you love me?"

"Yes, I love you."

"Do you love me?"

"Yes, I love you."

"Do you love me?"

"Yes, I love you."

"Do you love me?"

"Yes, I love you."

"Kim! Stop it!" her mother ordered. "You're forcing her to say that! You're upsetting her!"

"I'm forcing her to tell the truth. She says she loves me, and she tries to run away! What's going on Shego? Why can't you just accept and enjoy this?"

"Because you have a future Kim. You've got friends and family who love you. You could have anything you wanted."

"What if I want you?"

"I've got no future."

"Yes you do. You could be a hero again!"

"You really think it's that easy? You think I can just say 'I want to be a good person.' and all the charges against me will be dropped and everyone will accept me? Can I have a magic wand and fly too? Even if I wanted to change -- and I don't -- I wouldn't have the chance. If they ever figure out how to hold me I'm going to be in prison for a long, long time."

Anne asked, "You don't want to change? You are happy being a criminal?"

"I don't think of myself as a criminal so much as a mercenary. I get hired to do jobs, I do them. At least some of them are sort of legal."

"Sort of legal?"

"People don't hire me for jobs the Boy Scouts or Global Justice will do. I won't do assassinations, but they've been offered to me. Still, there isn't much else I haven't done for one country or another. One of the nice things about Drakken is the time he gives me to moonlight. He pays lousy, but if I need a couple days or a month off he doesn't give me any trouble. But frankly, stealing for Drakken is more honest than most of my government contracts. I will run from the room if you ask more questions, I am not supposed to talk about those. I can't change who I am. And I don't want to change Kim. Please, Kim, you really can't see that?"

"But Shego, we have changed. You can't stop change. Are we the same two people who got together last March -- each too scared of the other to put her guard down? Shego, you are asking me to change. You are asking me to go back and become the same person I was. I... I would like you to be a hero again -- but I can't ask you to become the person you were seven years ago, and I'm not asking you to. You told me once how you didn't have to worry about the future -- you lived in the present. Can't we live in the present together?"

"Kim, your parents and I--"

"No, I'm not asking for their opinion! Maybe we don't have a future," Kim continued softly. "Maybe I know that. But I'm not going to ignore or deny how I feel. I'm not going to regret it. I want all the time with you I can have. Shego, I'm not asking if you love me -- I know the answer is yes. I'm not asking if we have a future -- I know the answer is no. Tell me, this is the only question that matters to me. Do you want me now? If the answer is yes, then we should be together for as long as we have. If the answer is no, I will live with that. Admit that to me in front of my parents."

Shego's answer, quiet as a whisper, was loud in the silence of the room, "I want to be with you, Kim. I don't want to leave."

Anne Possible's heart ached as she heard Shego's reply All her hopes and dreams for her daughter seemed to be slipping away. If this was the new reality she would face this new world as best she could. "I'm still Kim's mother, and I demand some sort of say in this. Shego, I want to know something of your sexual history, Kim is a virgin. At least..." Anne took the flashlight and pointed it at Kim.

"Yes, Mom."

"How many sex partners have you had Shego?"

"I'm not sure..." Kim stared at the woman she loved. "I'm not saying I can't count that high. I just don't remember. There were a couple stupid years when I was first on my own. I'm not sure how many people, men and women, I had sex with -- maybe around a dozen. We didn't always take the precautions we should have. Is that what you're asking Anne?"

"That's exactly what I'm asking."

"MOM!"

"Not now Kim. Shego, if you are serious at all about wanting me to accept this relationship you will be tested for STDs. That is non-negotiable."

"I've been tested. Perhaps I was just lucky, but I'm healthy. But if it will make you feel better to have me tested again I'm perfectly willing."

"Thank you."

Kim stared at Shego, shaken by the revelations. "Kim, I'm sorry..."

"You've had lovers?"

"I've had sex. I was stupid. They were years ago, It's been years since I've been with anyone. They don't have cures for some STDs, the risks aren't worth it. But I don't think I've been in love. I've never felt for anyone what I feel for you. And years from now I don't want you to have to tell someone I was a mistake the way I'm telling you I made mistakes."

"Second," Anne continued, "Kim, you have exhibited erratic behavior for the last month or so. The week before your accident you were distracted -- staring off into space constantly. After the accident you were giddy, and for the last two weeks you've been in a deep depression. That behavior doesn't say love to me. It says crush. Love is patient -- but I'm not seeing any of that from you. I want you and Shego to wait--"

Kim grabbed the flashlight and pointed it at her mother "Did you and Dad have sex before marriage?"

"Um... Do you want to take that one James?"

"Kim, this anniversary coming up... It isn't really our twentieth, it will be the nineteenth."

"That can't be, that's... that's only three months before my nineteenth birthday!"

Her dad arched one eyebrow. "We know. And I don't think you will believe you were a healthy eight pounds, two ounce baby born six months pre-mature."

"Isn't it a little hypocritical to ask Shego and me to wait when you didn't?"

"Your father and I had known each other for years before we had sex. We had been dating for a long time and knew we were going to be married before we ever got into bed together. We had a timetable for our careers and family -- you just sped up the process. According to the schedule we would be coming up on our eighteenth anniversary, and you should be just two years older than the boys. And they weren't planned as twins - it just seems to run in my family. You and Shego have been enemies for years. You've had six months of putting down your guards and getting to know each other. You've had one night of cuddling -- and Kim you have a cut lip to show it wasn't completely peaceful.  
"Six months. If you want me to accept the two of you are in love and not just lust. You're already kissing more than I like. I want the two of you to practice more self-restraint."

James Possible entered the discussion. "Anne, I think we need to work on a compromise. Shego doesn't want to alienate Kim from us. She is not asking Kim to choose between us. She is trying to work with us. If we are too demanding we can alienate Kim ourselves. I'm worried Kim will rebel at your six months. Here is the compromise I suggest. Kim, Shego, frankly I agree with Anne and would rather you waited six months at least before you ah, became intimate. My suggestion would be for the two of you to wait at least three months -- " Kim started to smile at him, "but that you don't see each other for the next month."

"What!"

"You can have one phone call a day for, say half hour. But your Mom is right, you aren't yourself when Shego is around. I almost don't recognize you. You both need to think about what you are doing. And one month without physically seeing each other may give you a little cooling off period. If your love can't survive then it isn't love."

"I COULD live with that," Kim said slowly, "But, I have a question for Shego. Are you going to try and run away from me again? I don't want to wait to be with you, but I will if you will be there for me."

"I'll be there for you Kim. I still don't think it can work, but I want it to, and I won't run away again. Dr. Possible, would Kim and I really have your blessings with that compromise?"

"We... I can try. It may be easier to accept than bless. Three months gives me a little time to adjust to the idea. How about you, Anne?"

"I don't know. I don't think three months is enough. I want to put two conditions on your father's suggestion. First, Kim, I want you to move out of the house."

"WHAT!"

"No, we talked about this earlier. I want you in a dorm on campus. I think having to meet new people will be good for you. New friends will show you whether you are committed to Shego or just crushing from a lonely summer."

"But dorm assignments were made months ago!"

"And if it doesn't work out I will accept that. But I want you to call Monday and see if anything is available. Even if you do get in the dorm your room is always here, you are always my daughter. But I want you to get out and do more. Meet more people--"

"Maybe some nice boy?"

"Flashlight of truth? Yes. But that was my first condition. My second condition especially applies if you can't get into a dorm room. I really don't know if I can take the idea of my unmarried daughter and anyone -- even if you were a man, Shego -- having sex in her bedroom. Shego, if you spend the night any time during the next year you will sleep in the guest room."

"So you'll let Shego and me make love in three months -- but not in my own room."

"I won't budge on that."

"That's so unfair!"

"That's okay Kim. This is their house, it's only fair for her to make the rules. If she is uncomfortable with you making love in your bedroom you have to respect that and obey. If she prefers we express our deep and sincere love in some roach-infested dive where they rent rooms by the hour to drug addicts and hookers we can find one. You must honor your parent's wishes no matter how poorly they have thought it through."

Anne glared at Shego, "Okay, the subject is not closed. We can review that in three months."

Emotionally drained from the conversation Anne Possible tried to find something to think about other than the images that had filled her head since she and James had realized they heard Shego's voice coming from Kim's room that morning. Supper seemed safe, the boys would be back and everyone needed to eat. "What would you like, Shego," she asked absent-mindedly -- failing to put the question in terms of the menu for dinner.

The neural inhibitor forced Shego to say what she wanted, and it was Kim who was on her mind as she began to say what she wanted -- at length and in graphic detail. James left the room hurriedly. Kim sat and listened, open-mouthed. It was going to be hard to wait three months. Anne wasn't sure whether some of what Shego described was even physically possible -- but these were two very athletic young women.


	2. Norwegian Wood

Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

Norwegian Wood by the Beatles. I don't know who holds the copyright now.

**Norwegian Wood**

_I once had a girl, or should I say, she once had me._

After the conversation with her parents Kim and Shego headed to the TV room for a Mythbusters marathon, and almost immediately fell asleep again on the couch.

Kim's cell phone woke them up.

"Hullo?"

"Kim, how are you doing? Anything I can do to help?"

"I'm fine, Monique, wonderful, really."

Kim held the phone to Shego's ear. "Don't believe her Monique. Kim is possessive and manipulative. She won't let me go. Help me!"

Kim brought the phone back to her how ear, "See why I'm feeling wonderful?"

"For sure, GF. Can I take the two of you out for coffee tonight?"

"Thanks, but later... Oh, make it much later -- a month or so. I'll explain next time I see you."

The two were still awake, watching Buster the crash test dummy suffer more bizarre indignities, when the phone rang the next time. Kim looked at the ID, "It's Ron," she giggled, passing the cell to Shego, "push the green button to talk."

"Good afternoon, this is Kim Possible's new cuddle toy. You may leave a message at the sound of me hanging up, 'cause Kim and I don't care what you have to say." A small 'click' signaled Shego having disconnected.

"Shego! That was rude. Ron is my friend."

"Oh, come on Pumpkin. I bet he sets a record getting over here to make sure you're safe. I just gave his feet wings."

"And you want him over here?"

"No, I want him to leave us alone and you to smother me with kisses. Damn it, Kim, can you stop asking me questions until the truth ray wears off?"

"Well, I know one way to keep me from talking." After several minutes without conversation they were startled to see Ron watching them in amazement.

"Stoppable, will you please work on a noisy walk!"

"Okay, Shego and Kim swapping spit. Now I believe it. I'm going to start knocking before I go into any room you two are in."

Ron didn't stay long. He still hadn't decided whether to be happy for Kim, or very, very afraid.

"We can't let her go back until the truth ray wears off. Dr. Drakken could learn all kinds of... stuff," Kim warned her parents later in the afternoon.

"Okay, Shego, you are welcome to stay -- in the guest room. And you'll let us know when the truth ray wears off? I don't plan on you moving in."

"Believe me Anne, I want this to wear off. I hate the feeling. I'll lie to you just as soon as I can."

"Somehow that doesn't sound very reassuring."

In the evening, after a couple rubbers of bridge, the adults went to the TV room and wrestled the remote away from the tweebs for a History Channel program on Surgery in Ancient Egypt.

The Drs. Possible sat together on the couch while the twins, bored with the lack of explosions plotted revenge for Kim's treatment of them a few weeks earlier -- they were a little too in awe of Shego to extend their revenge to her. Jim and Tim tackled Kim and began to tickle her. Shego initially came to Kim's aid, then in a surprising switch in allegiance held Kim's arms and let the boys tickle her.

Anne watched the young people romp on the floor more than she watched her program. According to Kim Shego had younger twin brothers herself, they would probably have been about the age of Jim and Tim when Shego had left home. Anne felt she was watching Shego revert back to an earlier, gentler version of herself. She truly wished she could see any hope for a relationship between this odd, pale young woman and Kim.

An hour after people had gone to bed there was a loud, "KIM!" The shriek brought the Drs. Possible running down the hall into the guest room. Throwing the light switch revealed a startled Shego, and Kim -- sitting on the bed grinning.

"Kimberly Ann Possible! What are you doing here?"

"Well, you made Shego promise to sleep in the guest room. You didn't make me promise to sleep in my room. And if I can't see her for a month I want to hold her tonight."

"James, you deal with her. I'm too angry."

After his wife left James passed judgment. "Shego, this isn't your fault. Anne is probably devising some horrible punishment for Kim at the moment, and if it doesn't entail boiling oil or molten lead Kim deserves it. I don't care if the two of you sleep here -- as long as that is all you do. You remember the compromise. Are you going to keep your word?"

"I promised Dr. Possible. I don't want to cause any more problems in your family."

"Kim, please control yourself. I don't like trusting a wanted criminal more than my own daughter. Your mother is really on the edge with you right now. If you stay in here you will leave the door open and the hall light on because Anne will check on you. But it will be better for everyone's future happiness if you keep the spirit as well as the letter of the law and go back to your own room."

He left, leaving the room light on.

"Kim, I... I... I... The damn inhibitor won't let me say I want you to go back to your room. But you should. I'm as excited about this as you are, but you know how I'm not speaking to my family -- don't lose yours. They love you too much for that, you love them too much."

Shego had apparently taken a stronger dose of the truth ray than Kim had been exposed to. On Sunday morning she still couldn't tell a lie, but had progressed to the point she could at least remain silent instead of blurting out the truth. But she did answer honestly the question Anne Possible asked.

"Would you like to go to church with the family?"

"No thank you."

"Can I stay home with her, Mom?" Her mother's glare answered that. "Just thought I'd ask."

When the two were alone Kim begged, "Please, Shego, I think if you go with us Mom won't be as hard on me after you leave."

"I don't do charity, I get paid to do a job."

"I'll pay. Three months and you will be rewarded." Kim whispered in her ear, "Remember, I heard your wish list yesterday."

"I don't do dresses."

"That's okay, I can loan you slacks and a top."

When they got home from church Anne told her sons, "Boys, change clothes before lunch! Shego, it was very nice to have you with us. You have a beautiful voice. Kim, you are still in trouble. You need to change too. James, help Shego and me set the table."

"Anne, you bought an awful lot of take-out. I don't think Kim and I will be eating as much as we did at breakfast yesterday."

"Oh, you've never been here for Sunday lunch. Any minute--"

"Oooh, Mrs. Dr. P. Chinese take-out. Smells wonderful! Did you get enough fortune cookies for everyone?"

"Hello, Ron. Your timing is excellent. Would you like to join us?"

"So, does Stoppable come with Kim?"

"I'm afraid so, it's a package deal."

"It makes me wonder about a long term commitment."

Anne drove Shego down to the hospital for blood work that afternoon. Kim rode along, unwilling to let Shego out of her sight for any longer than necessary.

"Thank you Shego," Anne said as she wiped the pale woman's arm with a swab and put a bandage over the spot where she drew blood.

"No problem. I want you to have that assurance. You might want to include some sort of note with the sample though. No one has really figured out how the comet changed my brothers and me, but the blood chemistry will look odd to whoever does the lab work. Maybe that's why I usually heal pretty fast -- human diseases don't know how to cope in my body."

"So you might not be human?"

"Only if it makes it easier for you to accept Kim and me."

The neural inhibitor wore off late Sunday afternoon. Shego suffered her own small bout of intoxication with life as she regained control of her brain and tongue. She gave Kim a big hug, "Princess, I hate you." - kiss- "I really hate you!" -kiss- "I hope I never see you again." -kiss- "I think you have lousy taste in girlfriends." -kiss-

"Break it up or I'll throw a bucket of cold water on the two of you."

Shego grabbed Kim's father and kissed him on the cheek, "I can lie again! You are a lousy bridge player!"

Back in uniform, Shego said her good-byes. Kim didn't want to let go, but Shego reminded her the month apart couldn't begin until they were actually apart. "Here's my number... Please don't let the boy genius have it."

Monday morning the housing office put Kim on the waiting list for a dorm room, number thirty-seven.

"Pretty hopeless, right?'

"Not necessarily. There are always a number of no-shows -- students who enroll and never show up. Usually it's only in the mid-twenties, but some years we've had almost fifty spaces open up. We can keep you on the list for second semester also. But keep calling back, it can take a week or so to get straightened out."

Kim's first college class began at 9:00 on Tuesday, English Comp. Signing up for the same section as Monique may have been a mistake since the two spent more time whispering to each other about Kim's weekend than listening to the professor. Kim killed three hours with a visit to the library and lunch in the student union before a section of Western Civ. with Ron. The housing office informed her she had gone to twenty-three on the list.

"The first two days usually have the greatest numbers of no-shows and drops. It can take as long as three weeks before everything is clear," they explained.

On Wednesday Kim had moved to number eleven.  
On Thursday number nine.  
On Friday, five.

The housing office called on Sunday, "Miss Kimberly Possible?"

"Sorry, Kim is over with a friend. This is her mother. May I take a message?"

"Your daughter was hoping to move into a dorm room. There is one available -- although I feel I should tell you that another woman had been assigned that room and requested a move, oh, make that two women moved out after meeting the young woman who would be your daughter's dorm mate. Because they were already in the system we honored their requests for transfers first. I thought I should warn you."

"Thank you. She will take it. How soon can her father and I move her in?"

"Any time -- this evening if you would like."


	3. She's Leaving Home

Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

Title is from another song by the Beatles

**She's Leaving Home**

Kim sat cross legged on the top bunk and glared at her new dorm mate.

Her dorm mate sat on a chair at one of the two small wooden desks and glared back at Kim.

"My mother thought moving into the dorm would be good for me. Looks like she missed that one," Kim complained.

"Like, I want to live with you this year? My first two roomies moved out -- and they didn't even have the loving family of Middleton's girl hero to go home to."

"Stuff it, Bonnie, your family lives as close to campus as mine."

"No freakin' way! You met my sisters. I've been counting down the minutes until I could get out of that house for two years. And you're not going to drive me back."

"Seriously, my mom wanted me out of our house."

"Oh, sure! Your parents worship you. Let me guess, you also have a bridge in Brooklyn you want to sell me. I put up with your crap through high school -- always having to top me. I put up with my family's crap -- the putdowns. I'm out of the house to get away from them. I think you're here just to screw up my life more."

"Like I even care about your life. All you ever did through high school was insult me."

"Oh yeah, like the talent show? I've been taking dance lessons since I was four -- and your buddy Stupible signs you up just to beat me -- and then he takes the fucking contest himself with his clown act. That wasn't the two of you trying to top me? How about the cheer routines I worked hard to plan, and you'd waltz in ten minutes after practice was supposed to start and everyone would fawn over your ideas. You stuff it Kim. You had it right on graduation - what I was looking forward to was never having to see you again."

At a cease-fire in the quarrel Bonnie announced, "You need to know the ground rules. This has been my room for a week--"

"Well, it's OUR room now, not yours. You don't tell me the rules -- we negotiate."

"I will not negotiate rules like keeping things picked up. I don't want to come in here and find a pile of clothes on the floor like the Wicked Witch of the West just evaporated--"

"She dissolved, not evaporated."

"Whatever, Kim. You will keep your junk picked up. Although it doesn't look like you have very much."

"I wasn't really planning on living in the dorm--"

"Then go home!"

"But I'm here now, and I'm staying. Mom is taking me shopping at Targét next weekend for dorm stuff."

"Rule two, you don't ask to wear anything of mine. I'm sure not going to ask to wear anything of yours. You want to try to negotiate that?"

"No."

"Good. Rule three, I go to bed at ten. If you break down and buy a desk lamp you can sit at the desk and study quietly -- but no noise in here after ten. Take your noise to the lounge."

"That's silly. Why do I have to live my life around you going to bed ridiculously early?"

"Because I get up at five in the morning. And if you don't let me have quiet you will find me a very noisy riser."

"Louder than your snoring?"

"I don't snore."

"I bunked with you at cheer camp, remember? You're a cross between gravel truck and chain saw."

"Even if I do snore, how do you propose to negotiate that away?"

Kim had no answer. After a pause she asked, "What about your stereo?"

"If you're studying I use the headphones."

"No, I meant can I use it?"

"Buy your own boom box, I don't want you touching my stuff."

"So that's a no on the microwave too?"

"Gee, I guess you aren't totally stupid."

"I think I remember the dorm handbook saying we weren't supposed to have microwaves."

"Yeah, but everyone does."

"Just wondering if that would still be true if someone complained to the dorm director."

"Fine, you can use it for popcorn -- but that's all. And pick up anything you drop on the floor."

"Uh, Bonnie, how about if I get a dorm-size fridge?"

"What about a fridge? The rule book bans those too."

"Yeah, but like you say -- everyone has them."

"Free use of microwave -- if you let me have a shelf?"

"You got to sweeten the deal a little Bonnie, let's talk stereo."

"What's your offer. I don't want you changing the radio station -- and if I'm in the room I can turn off your stuff and put on my own."

"But I can play my CDs, if you aren't here?"

"That's my offer."

"Hey, you have pre-sets for the radio. You aren't going to use all five, give me two and it's a deal."

"I'm already using four. I'll give you one. Final offer. And you don't get it until you have the fridge."

"I'll take it. Oh, and now we have to talk about the big one."

"Big one?"

"What are the rules about having friends here?"

"If you're trying to study I'll take my friends to the lounge. I expect you to give me the same courtesy. These rooms are too small for a decent party."

"Actually by friends, I meant significant others in the room. How late can they stay? What if one of us wants someone to spend the night?"

"Significant others? You mean you and Stupible are making it?"

"Not Ron, I... I fell in love with someone over the summer."

"Do I know him?"

"It's not a 'him' she's a her."

"Funny, Kim. But you don't look like a lesbian. You and Monique?"

"NO! And you don't know what lesbians look like. They look like anyone. I was hanging around with a bunch of them last summer at the coffee house. And second, I'm not sure if I'm a lesbian, I just know I love a woman."

"Kim, if you're screwing around in bed with a woman you are a lesbian."

"We haven't done it yet. Mom and Dad want us to wait at least three months. I'm having some trouble waiting, looking forward to when we can -- and I want to know the rules for our room."

"So, you want me to be in the room listening while Pixie Scout Kim Possible loses her virginity?"

"No, I want you in the lounge when Shego and I--"

"SHEGO? Bonnie was in hysterics, "Oh, God, Kim! Maybe this will work! Over the summer you realized you are a lesbian -- except you are in denial about it. You discuss when you can have sex with your Mommy and Daddy, and little hero Kimmie wants to lose it to a wanted criminal? You're either losing your mind or your life is totally screwed-up. I want to watch you suffer either way."

Kim sighed, "Come on Bonnie. We're taking a little walk, you need to meet some people."

They filled the trip from the dorm to Columbia to Kenya with almost polite small talk. College life was so new it was exciting to talk about, even if you couldn't stand the person with whom you were talking."

As they walked in the door the barista called, "Kim, good to see you. Usual?"

"Sure! Bonnie, I'm having a mocha - extra chocolate. What will you have -- I'm buying."

Bonnie studied the board while the barista worked on Kim's drink. "I'll go with the cinnamon chai."

After paying, Kim led Bonnie to the cavernous back room.

"Hey Kim, need your booth?"

"No thanks, Tony, just here to show my new dorm mate the place."

A young woman in a pink hat came over, "So, Kim, you and 'Sheila'...?"

"We're back together Rina!" The woman squealed and threw her arms around Kim giving her a hug.

"Who's Sheila?" Bonnie whispered as Kim led her towards a crowd of people gathered around several tables grouped together."

"It's what we call Shego when she's here."

Bonnie's eyes went wide; this was getting creepy.

It was early enough that the Legal Lesbians were there in force, even a few that Kim hadn't met before. Kim introduced Bonnie to those she knew.

"Shake Bonnie, no one's contagious -- you don't get it by shaking hands."

"Sorry," Kim apologized to the group, "I knew she was straight, I didn't realize she was such a 'phob.'"

"No problem, Kim. Hey, did you tell her I was straight?"

"She's too young for you, Andrew. She's just a freshman."

"Hey, if it's wrong to discriminate on the basis of sexual preference age discrimination should be wrong too."

Suzie laughed, "Hey, Andrew, do you ever ask yourself why lesbians are the only women who'll put up with your bullshit?"

Bonnie was almost shaking as Kim took her to a small booth in the front of C2K.

"They were all lesbians?"

"No, the men were men. Well, maybe not Andrew. We're just taking his word on that 'cause no one wants to check. And some of the women are straight, some are gay, some may be bi-. Could you tell which was which by looking?"

"Well, some were sort of butch--"

"Not good enough. You can be into leather and Harleys and straight. You can be all pink chiffon and lace and gay. You can't tell by looking. And really, Bonnie, does it matter?"

Bonnie remained silent. "Hey, Tony," Kim called as the pierced young man went by. "Will Mustapha be in tonight?"

"Tuesdays and Fridays are his nights, his wife is over at her mother's."

"Thanks, I'll have to bring my roomie back to meet him."

Bonnie kept a wider distance between herself and Kim on the walk back to the dorm. "You're not driving me out Kim. I will not go home. But there is a new rule -- you have to leave the room when I change clothes. You can go to the lounge or bathroom, but I don't want you watching me."

"Do you get excited by every guy you see?"

"No, of course not."

"Guess what, you don't excite me. Shego's the only one I want. So, can we set the room rules on significant others now?"

"Not now, not ever. You're screwing my life again Possible. First high school, now college."


	4. How Does It Feel?

Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

Lyrics by Bob Dylan

**How Does It Feel, To Be on Your Own?**

_How does it feel  
To be on your own  
With no direction home  
Like a complete unknown  
Like a rolling stone?_

Overheard in the Student Services Office...

"Hey, first request this year for change of faculty advisors, K. A. Possible wants to switch to Dr. Kemal in Linguistics. That's the first I can remember anyone requesting Kemal."

Monique lived at home to save money, and with her extra hours at Club Banana there wasn't a lot of Kim time. Ron lived at home because the dorm didn't allow pets, and he had to care for the ailing Rufus -- now about nine hundred in naked mole rat years. The Guiness World Book claimed a lack of documentation to prove it was the same rat. Wade's theory was that the various rays, beams, potions and magical auras Rufus had encountered in his travels had kept him alive this long, but clearly his time was nearing its end.

Bonnie's microwave fit nicely on top of Kim's fridge, and a cloth covered them both well enough to allow the RA to pretend she didn't know what was there if she looked in. Stereo equipment took most of Bonnie's shelf-space, but she didn't always turn off Kim's music the second she walked in the room and Kim gave up one shelf to Bonnie's text books.

Kim bought an answering machine and Bonnie reluctantly agreed to share the cost of a land line -- pointing out that she never planned on being out of service range on her cell phone.

Bonnie tried to dress when Kim was asleep or out of the room. Kim complained, but went down to the lounge for a few minutes when she was awake and Bonnie needed to change.

The biggest pain, as far as Kim was concerned, was Bonnie's early bedtime. It interfered with phone time. In the best of all Possible's worlds Kim would be in her pajamas at the end of the day, crawl into bed, and talk with Shego for a half hour before they both drifted off to sleep -- the next best thing to being there. Kim tried that one night in the room. The next morning Bonnie turned the light on at 5:15 and made enough noise to waken the dead -- or Kim, a far more difficult task -- before she left for the dance studio in the theater department.

The lounge and student union were too noisy, the library was quiet -- but wouldn't let her talk, C2K was too far away, and a bench on the Green allowed anyone walking by to listen in -- and provided no protection from rain. The bathroom offered privacy, but was out of the question. It took four days, but Kim discovered what was euphemistically called a study lounge in the basement of the dorm. It smelled of mildew and neglect and the reference materials consisted of an old Webster's with pages missing and an almost-complete set of out-of-date Britannicas, along with three cast-off computers which were old enough to be coal burning. Reception was poor in the basement, but it allowed Kim quiet and privacy. Some nights Kim called from her dorm room before lights out, but the prospect of Bonnie walking in and listening took much of the joy from that.

Shego and Kim alternated calls.

It was easily the high point of the day for Shego. With Drakken hard at work on his latest doomsday device there wasn't a lot to do around the lair -- a girl can only spend so much time filing her gloves' claws, training, and reading Soldier of Fortune for the funny parts. For Shego the calls were a chance to put her feet up and listen to a world of normalcy she had left years ago. She would not admit it to Kim, perhaps not even to herself, but no only had life in hiding lost any glamour years earlier but now, even though the thrill of the next battle, heist or other challenge could be exciting, the down time in between was simply boring. The mood swings didn't help. Some days she hoped that Kim might grow away from her during the month and keep her normal life, and other days she despaired at the same prospect.

Kim's days certainly weren't dull. New classes, new people, catching lunch with Monique or Ron a couple days a week and the occasional mission kept her busy -- Jamaica announced they would release a postage stamp with her picture on it for her rescue of their bobsled team. But the time on the phone was every bit as important to her as it was to Shego. She tried to analyze why and failed. She could talk about anything with Ron and Monique, although Ron could go out of focus and might give her a non sequitur instead of an answer. Monique wasn't like that, but Monique was so busy they lacked time. Yet it was more than the fact Shego was there to listen, to laugh with Kim or to sympathize or tease as the situation required. Sometimes Kim felt they were the same person, only different -- each one needing exactly what the other had and only between them being whole. Kim wanted to feel Shego's lips on her own, and for the two to explore each other in ways Kim had never experienced. But the phone time, the conversation, was not simply a poor substitute for physical presence it linked them in a way that was equally important.

Bonnie wasn't sure what the biggest pain was in living with Kim. It was probably the fact Kim was a pig. She did her evaporating woman routine most nights, leaving a pile of clothing on the floor. And did she even know what a waste basket was? How could anyone work with that much litter on her desk? Bonnie took to throwing Kim's dirty clothes onto Kim's bed -- and necessarily Kim -- before she left each morning for the studio. She wasn't about to clean up Kim's desk, she hoped that someday the pile of litter might collapse and bury Kim.

In some ways even more annoying than Kim's lack of room hygiene was the burden of having her as a roomie. On learning she shared a room with Kim every guy she met asked Bonnie about Kim. What did she like? Was she seeing anyone? How did it feel to room with a hero? Could she and Kim come to a party? It was never just, 'Bonnie, can you come to a party?' Bonnie wanted to grab the throat of the next person who asked about Kim and scream, "She's a fuckin' dyke! Get over it, loser!" As wonderful as that scenario sounded to her, however, Bonnie feared what it would do to her status if guys knew she lived with a lesbian.

If it weren't for the satisfaction she knew it would give Kim, Bonnie would have asked for a transfer to another room.

Kim adjusted to college life. She made it a point to sit with a group of people every meal in the cafeteria. By the end of two weeks people recognized her and came over to eat with her. On the few occasions when Kim saw Bonnie at meals she was alone or with one of two other women from the theater department.

Kim could not adjust to Bonnie. She woke up and took the dirty sock out of her mouth, third morning in a row. Bonnie had to be aiming. Ten minutes until nine. _"No time for breakfast, got to throw something on and get to Comp. Hope Monique saved me a spot. Hope I'm not too late."_

"Are you okay?" Monique whispered to Kim, "You don't look like you're taking care of yourself."

"I hope you two ladies will excuse us, but the rest of us are here for English Comp."

The announcement on the bulletin board in the gym said there was one opening for a JV cheerleader, and posted the tryout time.

"I saw it first," Bonnie snarled when Kim mentioned that she planned to try out.

"Did not. And even if you did, I didn't know you were going to try out."

"Screw you, Possible. You're just going to top me again."

Getting that spot from the other would really rub her roomie's nose in the dirt.

About a dozen girls were there for the tryout. Kim and Bonnie recognized most of them from various high schools Middleton competed against. Kim and Bonnie were allowed a joint routine, one they'd practiced to perfection. Neither would have minded making the other look bad -- if she knew how to do it without making herself look bad.

"Watch your hands, Possible," Bonnie hissed.

"You never cared in high school."

"You weren't a dyke in high school."

"Fine, I'll drop you on your head -- will that make you happy?"

The coach didn't need any time to go over her trial evaluations. "Frick! Possible! Rockwaller! Please stay for a minute. The rest of you, thank you for your time and coming out. You were all very good and I hope to see you back for future openings."

The three young women followed the coach to her office.

"Frick, you have the JV opening. Good job. See you at practice next Monday afternoon."

"Thanks!"

"Possible, Rockwaller. I heard about you at Middleton High. You look professional. The varsity could use you. Miss Possible, your upper body strength is fantastic. Miss Rockwaller, your balance amazes me. You really have to trust her for that vault." Coach Simmons looked down at the forms they'd filled out before competition. "Oh, I see you're roommates. Best friends since high school?"

"Not exactly."

"Not even close."

"Well, you don't have to be friends to work well together. Welcome to the squad.

Cheerleading practices and games were the only place the two could work together. There was the unfortunate webcam incident... Kim resented the way Bonnie made her crawl to ask forgiveness. It wasn't like Kim forgot to turn the camera off on purpose. And it wasn't like it went out over the internet. And Kim was pretty sure Wade would delete it from his hard drive.

"Message on the machine for you." Bonnie complained when Kim came in from class. "Where do people get that number?"

"I think Wade gives it out to people who contact the website."

"Can you remember to turn the damn ringer off at 10:00?"

The message asked Kim to return the call.

"Hello?... Really? ... It was no big. I don't think one bad speaker would have ruined the concert. I'm just glad I knew hair gel is a conductor. ... No, toothpaste is an insulator, it wouldn't have worked. ... A limo? When? ... Okay, great. See you tonight."

Kim started making calls. "Monique? ... Drop it all girl, limo ride, front and center seats, and backstage passes for a Rolling Stones concert tonight! ... What do you mean? ... Can't you find someone to take your place? ... Yeah, I'm sorry too, later."

"Ron? ... Rolling Stones concert tonight, four free tickets and limo ride. ... Great! Be here at five."

"Mom! Can you come with me to a concert tonight? ... Okay, sorry. Bye."

"Shego, How about a concert tonight? ... Yes, I know the month isn't over -- but it's close. ... Will you try to remember I fell in love with you before you got all ethical on me? ... Yeah, I'm counting the days too."

"Wade? Could you leave the house for a Rolling Stones concert? ... You need to get out more, you know that?"

Several calls later... "What is wrong with people, where is their spontaneity?" Kim wondered. "Do they think homework is really more important than concert tickets?"

A little after five Ron knocked on the door.

"C'mon in Ron."

"Oh, love what you've done with the place, Kim. It makes a statement. It says, 'Dorm.' Hey, Bonnie, how are classes?"

"Fine, Stupible. Thanks for asking." _"He worked out over the summer. He's almost buff."_

"So, who's going with us to the concert?"

"Just you and me, Ron. Seems like everyone else was busy."

"Aaah. What was your excuse, Bonnie?"

"Well, for one thing, Kim didn't ask me."

"Kim?"

"Well, she was right in the room. She could have said something."

"Come on Bonnie, the more people the more fun!"

"The Rolling Stones? Why don't you ask my grandmother -- I think they belong with her generation."

"C'mon, Bonnie. We can all sing along if they do 'Honky-Tonk Woman.'"

"How about you promise not to sing along and I'll consider it -- if it's okay with Kim."

"Fine Bonnie, I'm sorry I didn't think to ask you." _"Ron, why don't you keep your mouth shut?"_

Back in the limo for the ride home after the concert Bonnie admitted, "Okay, that was a great concert, but they're ancient!"

"You should be so active when you're that age, Bonnie," Ron said. "Did you like meeting them? I think Mick has a wild sense of humor."

"Maybe... Keith pinched my bottom."

"Oooh, not surprised. Did you see they were selling t-shirts that said 'Keith Richards pinched me bum!'? You could have asked him to autograph it."

Bonnie glared at Ron.

"Oh, I meant autograph a t-shirt, not your, uh..."

She smiled at him. "That's okay Ron. Thanks for asking me along. This is way past my bed time, if I fall asleep on your shoulder don't wake me up until Middleton, okay."

_"Actually,"_ Kim thought, _"it was a pretty good night. Bonnie and I were civil to each other, and she got to see it's better if we're friends."_

Which were not the thoughts in Bonnie's mind as she drifted off. _"Bitch! Let's me know I'm the last person in the world she wants around and then shows off her celebrity friends. At least Ron isn't a bad guy for a buffoon."_


	5. TopsyTurvy

Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

Snippets taken freely from Gilbert and Sullivan operettas since copyrights have expired. Deviantartist fortheloveofpizza envisioned Shego's father a music teacher. Other details are mine - although we found ourselves in agreement on a number of points.

**Chapter - 5 Three Little Maids**

_Three little maids from school are we  
Pert as a school-girl well can be  
Filled to the brim with girlish glee  
Three little maids from school_

"So, our month is up tomorrow," Kim spoke into the phone. "Do you want to come see my dorm room?"

"Sure, then we can go out for a cup of coffee or something."

"Something sounds really good. REALLY good. When can you be here?"

"How does 9:30 sound?"

"9:00 would be better"

"I could be there at 8:30."

"8:00 it is."

"Really, Kim, I have work to do. I can't possibly be there before 7:30."

"Okay, I'll expect you at 7:00."

To Bonnie's relief Kim actually did a little straightening before Shego was expected. Bonnie hated to have anyone, even Kim's friends, think they lived in a dump. Bonnie planned on heading to the library before 'Kim's friend' arrived, but a knock on the door came at 6:30.

Kim threw open the door, and collapsed on the floor laughing. Bonnie stared at the two. Kim had dressed up for an evening out at a fancy restaurant. The woman standing in the doorway, could that be a famous criminal, was dressed in baggy jeans with a t-shirt that had a big yellow arrow pointing left and the words 'I'm with stupid' written on it.

"You two really need to coordinate your plans before you pick wardrobe," Bonnie sneered.

"I'm sorry, Kim," Shego apologized, "I just wanted you to take me around the campus -- show me some of the places you've been telling me about. I thought I'd draw less attention if I was really casual."

_"You have transcended casual and reached slob,"_ was Bonnie's thought.

"I'll change... Oh, first, introductions. Shego, this is Bonnie Rockwaller, we hate each other. Bonnie, this is Shego, we love each other."

Shego sat at Kim's desk while Kim changed into something more casual. Shego smiled and enjoyed the show as Kim changed without embarrassment. Had the green woman looked at Bonnie she'd have seen a look of disgust at Kim's behavior. But Shego saw no need to look at Bonnie -- although her face seemed vaguely familiar. Without looking away from Kim, Shego asked, "Are you that Bonnie who sings karaoke at Nathan's?"

Bonnie stared at Shego, "You're the woman who sits with Blue Man Solo, aren't you?"

"Only when I can't figure out a way to avoid it. You've got a nice set of pipes."

Bonnie also had a concern she had to express, "Didn't security try to stop you or anything?"

"Security? You mean that guy on the desk downstairs? I just came in with a bunch of girls and he didn't even look at us. Looks like all the exit doors would be easy to open too." Shego stared at the window casing, "And for that matter, I'll bet I could squeeze in through that window and avoid the door completely if I wanted."

None of which made Bonnie feel any better.

Kim finished pulling on a t-shirt. "So, what do you want to see?"

"Really just you. But I guess you should show me around -- Union, library, class-rooms--"

"Class-room buildings are locked."

"Not to me. Then I thought we might stop for coffee and head to... Was it the Green where you said people make out on the benches?"

"Oh, yeah, it's shameless."

"Should we conduct a field study on moral turpitude within the campus environment?"

"Can you tell me what you just said?"

"Oh, I can do better than that Princess, I can show you."

"Don't wait up for me Bonnie. Shego is going to expand my vocabulary."

Bonnie wanted to say something very rude, but not to a woman who said she could enter unseen through their window.

A few days later Kim found a salmon-colored note in her dorm mailbox, "See faculty advisor."

"It has been almost two months since you and Shego were observed at C2K." Dr. Kemal began, "I had hoped you had stopped seeing each other."

"I'm sorry... Should I call you Mustapha or Dr. Kemal?"

"You may call me either -- which is a privilege I do not usually extend to undergrads."

"I'm sorry... No, I'm not sorry. Shego and I are in love."

"Does Global Justice need to send in another surveillance team?"

"I doubt if we'll have quite as consistent a pattern as we did last summer. Would you like an inside report for everything we say about Global Justice or Drakken's plans to take over the world?"

"You would do that?"

"Only because we never talk about that. We arrived about 8:30 last night. We left before 10:00. I told her about my classes. I won't tell you what we did before or after. Neither Drakken nor Global Justice was mentioned. That's what my reports would look like. I won't tell you in advance when we will be there."

"Very well. I will not ask Global Justice for surveillance at this time. You will tell me if she asks about Global Justice. Remember Kim, I do not trust her. Please do not give me any reason to doubt you."

The first time Bonnie opened the door to find Shego sitting in the room she screamed.

The RA came running, "Rockwaller, what's wrong?"

"There's--" There was no one in the room. Bonnie did not want to sound like a mental case. Maybe she had imagined Shego being there. "There was a really big spider."

"It's just a spider, keep it down."

Her heart still racing Bonnie looked in the room again. Empty. She went in and closed the door, turning the lock.

"Sorry Bonnie, didn't mean to frighten you. Fast thinking with the spider."

Bonnie was far too frightened to make a sound. She sat down at her desk and wondered how Shego would kill her.

"Kim said she was going to be here," the pale woman said by way of apology. "I don't like hanging around in the halls so I let myself in."

"Did Kim give you a key?"

"No. Why would I need a key?

There was no doubt in Bonnie's mind. Kim had screwed her again.

Kim's punctuality problems caused Bonnie to find Shego waiting in her room far more than she liked. But it brought a certain acceptance. If Bonnie opened the door and found Shego, feet up, reading Kim's Western Civ. text she no longer panicked.

"Are you taking Western Civ?"

"Yeah, but not the same section as Kim."

"Where are you in your text book?"

"Chapter six, why?"

"Because Kim doesn't have any high-lights in her text after chapter three."

Bonnie shrugged, "Different professors pace themselves differently."

A few days later Bonnie actually found Shego organizing Kim's desk while she waited. "How does Kim get any work done in this mess?"

"It must come easy for her, I don't see her work."

Bonnie really wished Kim and Shego could take their cuddle time out of the room. But it was raining too hard for the Green to be an option and spots like the lounge or coffee house too public for discretion -- Bonnie still preferred that her dorm mate's sexual preferences not be a matter of public gossip. Kim really wished Bonnie would go to the lounge to study -- but the piles of open books spread across her desk and the floor around it showed Bonnie was hard at work on an English Lit. paper and transporting all the volumes would have been a problem.

Kim and Shego sat cross-legged on the top bunk, Kim's bed, eating popcorn and talking quietly enough that it was clear they weren't trying to annoy Bonnie. But when Bonnie tried to concentrate she found any background noise annoying.

"Shego, want a soda?"

"Sure."

"Then will you get me a Diet Coke when you're getting yours out of the fridge?" Kim giggled.

Shego grinned, "Oh, you're getting sneaky. I think that's sexy."

She leaned over for a kiss, but Kim pushed her away, "I thought you were going to get cokes for us." Shego feigned a look of disgust and crawled off the bunk.

As she took the cans out of the fridge she noticed a musical score on the shelves over Kim's desk, "Is Middleton U. doing The Mikado?"

Bonnie looked up, "Hey, that's mine!"

"Do you have a part?"

"Yeah, a character named Yum-Yum. Do you know it?"

Shego laughed. "You were meant for the role. I'm going to love hearing you sing 'The Sun Whose Rays,'" and to Kim's embarrassment she burst into song,

_"Three little maids from school are we--"_

And Bonnie joined in,  
_"Pert as a schoolgirl well can be,  
Filled to the brim with girlish glee,  
Three little maids from school!"_

Shego turned to Kim, "Come on Peep-Bo, join in!"

Kim stared as if Shego had grown a second head.

Shego turned back to Bonnie, _"I have a song to sing, O!'"_

_"'Sing me your song, O!'_ Yeomen._ 'How beautifully blue the sky.'"_

_"'The glass is rising very high.'_ Pirates. _'When everyone is somebodee,'"_

_"'Then no one's anybody!'_ Gondoliers._ 'But I soon got tired of third-class journeys_

_and dinners of bread and water.'"_

_"'So I fell in love with a rich attorney's  
Elderly, ugly daughter.'_ Trial by Jury._ 'Take my advice when deep in debt,'"_

"Pass."

_"'Set up a bank and play roulette!'_ Grand Duke, your turn."

_"'You hold yourself like this,  
You hold yourself like that,'"_

_"'By hook and crook you try to look both angular and flat.'_ Patience. Don't test my Patience, Bonnie, I must have been in the chorus for a hundred performances."

"When was that?"

"London, Savoy Theater, eighty-one and eighty-two."

"You're not that old."

"Oh, I don't mean nineteen eighty-one and eighty-two -- it was eighteen eighty-one and eighty-two

"What?"

"An early adventure with Drakken. He was convinced that Victorian England was the place to start the take-over of the world. He had this time machine... He was going to wow them with modern technology. Only we got back then and they didn't have the tools to build our modern marvels. They didn't even have enough electricity to run his time machine. He had to build a better steam-powered generator and invent technology to get us home. Victorian England is no place for a woman with her own opinions."

After Shego left Kim complained, "Why were you in here? You said you'd go to the lounge if I had company. If you have some boy in the room do you want me in here flirting with him?"

"Why was I in here? It's my room! Remember, I was here first. Flirting? Is that what you think I was doing? Shego started it. We love to find other Gilbert and Sullivan fans. Oh, God, you thought I was coming on to your girlfriend. You were jealous, admit it."

"Well, maybe a little."

"Maybe a lot. Kim Possible, jealous of me. Oh, that feels good. Seriously though, I'm starting to like her. I won't complain to the dorm director the way I planned if the two of you can keep it within reason."

Kim's punctuality problems continued. "Maybe I could buy Kim a watch," Shego mused one day.

"She doesn't need a watch, she needs to know how to tell time," Bonnie responded. "Hey, the other night... How do you know Gilbert and Sullivan? If I believe your story, did you learn it after you got back? I know their stuff because I'm a theater major."

"My dad teaches music. I grew up with their operettas -- and a lot of other music. My iPod is mostly Hip-hop, but I like a lot of different stuff. The hard part in eighteen eighty-one was not telling Sir Arthur and Mr. Gilbert how much I loved Iolanthe -- since they hadn't written it yet."

They were trying to remember all the words to the nightmare song when the sound of a key in the lock announced that Kim was finally back.

"Sorry, Shego, guess who I ran into?"

Shego caught sight of a black woman behind Kim in the doorway, "Monique!" To both Bonnie and Monique's surprise the pale thief jumped up and gave Mon a hug.

"Been too long. Come on, I'm taking you and Kim to the coffee shop the way I promised two months ago."

"Hey, Bonnie, want to come with us?" Shego asked.

Monique and Kim stared at Shego, what was she doing? Bonnie hesitated, then answered "Sure."

Tension began to mount shortly after all four got their orders and sat down in a booth at C2K. "The way I understand it is that you two are going to hop in bed together in a about a month--"

Since Shego was the only person speaking to Bonnie, "Not exactly. We promised we would wait at least that long--"

"Hold on, and this is because you promised Kim's parents to wait?"

"Yes."

"Damn, this is one sick version of that old psychic joke."

Kim couldn't resist, "What joke?"

"Why do men think women are psychic?"

"I don't know. Why?"

"Because we know in advance when they are going to get laid. So, do your parents have a big red circle marking the day on the calendar?"

"You're not funny Bonnie. Say, did you really sleep with every guy on the football team like they say? I always figured--"

"You shut up. I had sex with Brick a few times... That was it."

"And all those stories?"

"Yeah, like all those stories about you and Stoppable. Or the people who think you're straight."

Shego offered Bonnie some sympathy, "Sounds like your first time wasn't very happy either."

"We were fighting... I didn't want to lose him, it makes you look good to be out with the captain of the football team... God, I was stupid. And it pretty much screwed up my reputation for my Senior year. You say your first wasn't any good either?"

"No. I can drop it."

Jealousy drove Kim to continue the conversation, "What happened, Shego?"

"I was just sixteen, a crime-fighter doing patrol without my brothers. He said his name was André -- I never found out if that was real or not. I caught him. He was a lousy thief, but a smooth talker. I let him go... The third time I caught him he took me back to his place... I was the stupid one Bonnie, I was a kid, he took advantage of me. That's what Kim's parents are worried about."

"So, you never saw him again?" Kim asked hopefully.

"Oh, I was with him again. I ran into him a couple years later, after Team Go broke up. We both imagined we were great thieves. It was our summer of crime spree across Europe. We would meet back in Paris and see who had stolen things from the greatest number of countries. Little crimes, mostly shop-lifting, but we were going to move up to bigger stuff. We were going to be a team."

Jealousy burned in Kim's veins, "What happened to him?"

"He's dead. Shot during a nothing crime in some Balkan nowhere. I cried for a week when it happened. Now I sometimes feel guilty because sometimes I'm glad he's dead."

"Somebody must have had a good time. How about you, Monique? I've seen you out with Jamal. Is it true what they say about men with big feet?"

"You've got a nasty mouth, Bonnie. I'm saving myself for my wedding night. I want whoever I marry to be the first and only. And Jamal is history -- he says he won't wait."

"Ooh, and you'd like your husband to be a virgin too? So on your wedding night neither of you would know what to do?"

"Learning together sounds like more fun than using sex to try and keep a guy you only want for his looks and who ruins your reputation."

"Good luck finding a Boy Scout who shares your values."

Actually, Kim was thinking of a couple boy scouts, but not sure how to set up a date between one of them and Monique. "Monique, does it bother you that Shego and I are talking about a physical relationship?"

"Some, but it's not like the two of you can wait until you're married. And I'm also a big believer in the verse about, 'Judge not...'"

Kim and Shego argued briefly outside the dorm before Kim went in. "What in the world were you doing asking Bonnie to go along with us?"

"Because it's bad luck for three women to be out together."

"Huh?"

"Don't you know, if three women are out together you can figure one is the smart one, one is the pretty one, and one is the slut. Four throws off the math."

"Well, we know which one is the slut."

"Come on Kim, she is your dorm mate."

"We hate each other."

"She said you were jealous."

"She told you that?

"I think she's lonely."

"Then let her find her own friends. I don't want her stealing mine."

"You really think she could steal me? Are you that insecure?  
"I think she's lonely. I have a lot of sympathy for lonely people -- been there, done that."

Kim blamed Bonnie for the argument with Shego. _"I'm going to get you for that, Rockwaller."_

---

"Kim, can I borrow the keys to Herbie? I need to move some stuff and one hovercraft is down and Drakken has the other one."

"Here. Hey, do you know how to drive a stick?"

"Hey, Princess, do you know how to breathe?"

Twenty minutes later Wade contacted her.

"What's the sitch?"

"Sorry Kim, a report of Shego taking something from a Radio Shack -- the one a couple blocks east of your campus."

"Damn!" Kim cursed as she took off running -- she'd even loaned Shego her car for the heist.

Kim arrived at the Radio Shack with a stitch in her side and blood in her eye. Shego had the passenger door open and three boxes still sitting on the sidewalk. "What in the hell do you think you're doing! You're making me an accessory to a crime!"

"Sorry Kim, but I really don't feel like fighting today--"

"Then what are you doing stealing electronics?"

"Last time I checked legal purchases didn't constitute theft."

"Legal purchases?"

"I told you. I didn't feel like fighting today, and Drakken really wanted this stuff. I got the money out of petty cash. Want to see the receipt? Can you help me pack this in the car? This box has some delicate parts."

Two of the boxes just fit into the back with the others. "You got any classes scheduled in the next couple hours?"

"No."

"Come with me. Hold this box on your lap so nothing gets damaged."

"You're inviting me back to your lair?"

"Sure, I'll have to blindfold you so you don't know the exact route. It'll be fun -- wait until you see what Drakken with the color scheme -- mauve and teal. By the way, you really need to clean out this car -- but at least it should be easy to find something to use for a blindfold."

Shego limited herself to stealing one kiss before letting Kim take the blindfold off. A very long kiss.

"Now, help me unload, then I'll buy you lunch."

The boxes were out of Herbie when Shego heard a noise. "Damn, Drakken's back Princess. He usually stays at his mom's place all afternoon. Act hypnotized."

"How do you act hypnotized?"

"Fake it," Shego hissed.

Drakken froze at the sight of the red-haired woman. "Shego! That's Kim Possible!"

Shego glanced over, "It is, isn't it. Got to hand it to you Dr. D., your hypno-ray worked perfectly."

"My hypno-ray?"

"Sure, you remember, I found the prototype back in the parts room. Really great invention."

"Uh, yes. Well, I'm a genius. Er, what are you going to do with her?"

"I'm thinking that after she helps me unload I'll got leave her in the desert somewhere."

"Oh, good thinking Shego, carry on. Oh, where did you leave the hypno-ray?"

"It's... in the hovercraft."

Kim started giggling almost as soon as Drakken was out of the room. "Hypno-ray? In the hovercraft?

"Knock it off Kim, at some point he may also remember there isn't a desert in six hundred miles."

Once safely away from the lair Shego parked and let Kim take off the blindfold and take over the wheel.

"You haven't told Drakken yet, have you?" Kim demanded.

"Well, no."

"Afraid? Come on, Ron and my family know."

"I don't know how to break it to him."

"You don't know how to break it to him? What's the problem? You had a great chance last week -- how did you explain that bruise on your neck?"

"I, uh, told him it was a training accident?"

"TRAINING ACCIDENT! Is that what you call what we were doing in the balcony at the Orpheum? I had to wear a turtleneck to classes!"

"Please, Kim, I'm not sure how he'll take it."

"I don't know how my folks are taking it -- but we told them."

"Your folks are doing great."

"No they're not. You've never seen them doing great."

"When we're there for Sunday dinner?"

"They're trying hard, but I can tell they're upset. But no... Let's spare Drakken's feelings -- maybe we'll break up so you'll never have to tell him the awful truth."

"I wish you weren't living with the drama queen. Are you teasing me or serious?"

"Yes. And you are taking me to the Astor for lunch to make it up to me."

Two very nice, and over-priced, steaks later Kim headed back to campus, with a final warning for Shego. "Drakken is going to suspect something. When I was at your lair I used the little villain's room. I made a big heart on the mirror with lipstick, and inside I wrote, 'Shego + K.P. xxx.'"

"You didn't! You're teasing me, right? Don't do this to me!"


	6. Help! I Need Somebody

Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

**Help! I Need Somebody**

Some people call it freshmanitis, a mental disease effecting many first year college students away from parental supervision. The most common symptom is an inability to finish class assignments. In the days before states set the drinking age at twenty-one it was also routine to find people with only hazy recollections of their entire freshman year.

---

"You're turning into a nag," Kim complained. "When was the last time we sat on the Green and made out? When was the last time you called me pumpkin?"

"It was a five days ago. Come on, Kim, I'm worried about you. Other people are worried about you."

"I'm doing okay. I can get my work finished by the end of the semester."

"Pick up your stuff, we're going back to the dorm."

"It's only 8:00!"

"You need to go to your room."

"Please, I'm sorry I called you a nag. You're not going to dump me are you?"

"No, we need to talk. We need a better place to talk."

"But Bonnie might be in the room."

"Come on, we're leaving now."

Bonnie was in the room when they got back. So were Ron, Monique, Mustapha Kemal, and Kim's mom. No one was smiling.

"Why do I not think this is a surprise party?"

"No, it's not a party," Shego said as she moved to the point in the room furthest from Dr. Kemal, "it's an intervention."

"Kim, I have seen your mid-term grades. I've talked with your teachers," her faculty advisor told her. "At the rate you are going you will fail three classes -- and you are not doing well in the other two."

"They will drop you from the cheerleading squad, Possible. I'll win."

"You haven't turned in an assignment for English Comp in the last three weeks. You're not even making it to class half the time."

"Well, at least you show up for Western Civ., but I think I'm doing better than you in the class. Ooooh, scary thought, Ron better than Kim in something besides cooking."

"What's the problem, Kim?" her mother asked. "Your dad and I always felt like you were very responsible. Do you need us to tell you when to get up and when to do your homework?"

Kim glared at Shego, "You set this up."

"Not completely. We're all concerned. I think Monique called me first to ask what was going on. I can't remember if it was your mom or Dr. Kemal who suggested hiring a personal trainer to get you back on track."

"A personal trainer?"

"Yes Kim," said Dr. Kemal. "I have spoken with your teachers. I have told them you missed assignments because of missions and asked for extensions so you could catch up. You will disappoint me greatly -- and make me look bad in the eyes of the other faculty -- if you do not follow through."

"Please, Kim," Anne Possible pleaded. "Don't take five years to finish your first four years of college. You need help. Some of us aren't going to leave until you agree to use a personal trainer to turn yourself around."

"So, I can accept now or you'll keep pressuring me until I do?"

"You're stubborn, Kim. If you thought you were right you'd never agree. But you know we're right, don't you?"

"I guess. Okay. When do I meet this trainer?"

Anne Possible turned to Dr. Kemal, "I think we can leave now. Ron, you can leave with us. Monique and Shego have to give Kim the rules. I don't think she is going to like them."

Bonnie had a broad smile on her face as the three left the room.

"Okay," Kim demanded. "My FRIENDS thought I needed an intervention. Fine. Why is she here?"

"Kim, Bonnie is going to be your personal trainer."

"NO FUCKING WAY!"

"Kim!"

"Sorry Monique, pardon my French. But there is no way Bonnie's going to be my personal trainer."

"No Kim, Bonnie is the perfect choice. She is highly disciplined, always has her work done on time, and is in a position to monitor you closely."

"She's an obsessive-compulsive sadist."

"Oh, Kim, you say the sweetest things," Bonnie smirked.

Shego saw Kim's hands curl into fists. "Sit down at your desk. Let's give you the rules."

"First, and most important," Monique began. "She isn't going to ask you to do anything she isn't doing herself. Do you think Bonnie is tougher than you?"

"No."

"Do you think you can't keep up with a theater major?"

"No way. I thought you said this was work."

"Oh, it's going to be work," Shego assured her. "Bonnie told me her schedule. She's betting against you. She doesn't think you can do it. Now, I'm in charge of positive and negative reinforcement. I'm going to try and stop by every evening for a progress report -- before your 10:00 bed time--"

"SHEGO!"

"If she can do, you can do it. Now, if you did well during the day you will get one of those wonderful little Godiva hearts -- the dark, bitter-sweet chocolate --"

"With the butter cream center?"

"Yes. But, if Bonnie says you failed -- she gets the chocolate."

"But she'll just fail me every day."

"You can listen to what she says, present your case if you think she isn't reporting it fairly."

"I trust Shego's judgment," Bonnie told her. "Oh, Shego -- I prefer the milk chocolate to bitter-sweet. Buy plenty. I don't think Kim will be getting many."

After Monique left Bonnie went to the lounge to give Kim and Shego a few minutes together.

"Sorry, Princess, but we really think you need help."

"You may be right, but it hurts anyway."

"I know. Oh, and your mother agreed to let me give you one more incentive. I didn't want to mention it when the others were here. If you can rescue a B average for the semester she will let me give you a very special reward."

"VERY special?"

"VERY, VERY special. She didn't want to agree, but she did."

"What is it?"

"No, you have to earn it first -- and you're a long way from a B average."

Kim didn't sleep well that night, upset by her friends and family turning on her. She was still going to classes -- some of the time. She could have turned the semester around without help -- she was sure of it.

**5:00  
**"Wakey-wakey! Go down to the bathroom and do anything you have to do while I get dressed. We're out of here in twenty-minutes."

Kim pulled the pillow over her head.

"Oh, you're making it too easy Kim, you're quitting before you even start. Can't keep up with a theater major?"

Kim stumbled down the hallway to the bathroom.

**5:30  
**"You really need to declare a major."

"Bonnie, I'm only a freshman. I don't have to declare until I'm a junior. I'm just getting general education classes out of the way and deciding what I want to do."

"Yes, but the earlier you know the sooner you can focus on what is important."

"Like being a drama queen."

"Absolutely. They only give out keys to majors -- only two freshmen have them."

Bonnie let them into the drama building and led Kim to the dance studio. "I do a half hour of Tai Chi to limber up before dance. You can do whatever exercises you want, we go back for breakfast in an hour and a half.

**7:15  
**"Do we have to eat breakfast together?"

"Personal trainer, remember? Oh, take less of that greasy stuff and more fruit -- it will help with the oily complexion."

**8:00  
**"Thanks for going to the lounge while I got dressed. Now, you have done the required reading for your 9:00, haven't you?"

"No."

"God! You are Kim Impossible. Sit down and do what you can before you leave for class."

**8:45  
**"Move it, you're going to be late."

"I'm almost done. It will be nice to have the chapter read first."

"And rude if you get to class late. Oh, meet me back here at noon for lunch. I have class too. Give me a journal, half-hour entries for how you spend your time between the end of Comp and noon."

**Noon  
**"Salad, Kim, more salad."

As they returned to their dorm room after lunch Bonnie asked, "Now, are you ready for your one o'clock?"

"Not really."

"Give me your journal, Kim. What did you do in the last two hours? I have a two o'clock class -- when I get back to the room I want your desk clean and to see you reading or writing. Oh, keep up the journal, half hour entries."

**3:10  
**"Okay, the desk looks better. What are you working on?"

"A Western Civ. paper."

"Good, when is it due?"

"It was due, uh, a week or so ago."

"Get it finished. Oh, I'll be in the lounge watching TV if you need me."

"You get to watch TV? What about me?"

"Kimmie, I'm current in all my assignments. I have two chapters to read today, but I can take off an hour. I'll be back in here at four-thirty working. Dinner is at six."

**6:00  
**Kim irritated Bonnie at dinner by deliberately choosing a balanced meal.

**7:00  
**"Laundry time Kim."

"Come on, I'm going home this weekend. I'll wash it then."

"You'll wash it, or you'll let mommie wash it? It's starting to smell in here. Strip the bed -- it's been too long since you did your sheets."

Bonnie gave Kim a failing grade that evening. "...and then she refused to do laundry!"

"Is that true, Kim?"

Kim sullenly nodded her head.

"Sorry, Kim. Bonnie gets the chocolate."

Kim angrily watched Bonnie nibble the dark chocolate.

"Oh, Shego? Kim really did much better today than I expected. Maybe she could turn the semester around if she wanted. But I don't think she can keep it up. She'll take a swing at me within the week."

Which left Kim in a quandary. If she punched Bonnie the way she wanted it would prove Bonnie right. The best way to annoy Bonnie would be to do what Bonnie wanted.

Two nights later Bonnie gave her first approval of Kim's day. "She got lucky. She's behind in every class, but she's not moving backwards anymore. It will take her a month to catch up -- if she has the guts."

Kim and Shego lay on the top bunk, Kim's head pillowed on Shego's left arm. Shego was up on one elbow, feeding Kim the chocolate heart with her free hand. Bonnie conveniently left for the lounge. Kim didn't care whether it was to give them some privacy or in disgust at the display of affection.

"Oh, not much left," Shego said, noticing only a small piece of chocolate remained in her fingers. "We'd better share it." And she popped the last morsel in her mouth.

The long, deep, chocolate-mint kiss left Kim breathing heavily.

"And that's supposed to encourage me to work harder?"

Shego smiled at her, "Doesn't it?"

"Sure does," and Kim pulled Shego's lips down to her own.

A couple weeks later Shego and Kim walked back with Bonnie after watching her in The Mikado. Shego and Bonnie sang songs from the operetta on the way; Kim remained silent. They left Bonnie at the dorm, she waved to the two and called to Shego, "She's been a good girl for the last week. You can keep her out until midnight. Kim, you can sleep in until 7:30 tomorrow -- you don't have to go to the studio."

The couple continued towards C2K. They walked hand-in-hand, but there was a tension between them. "What's the matter, Princess?"

"It's been more than three months since our talk with my Mom and Dad. Why haven't we made love yet? Are you mad at me because I'm doing poorly in class? Do you not want me? Are you pulling away again? Is this sort of test -- are you withholding sex to make me study harder? Is that your very special reward -- if I do well enough you'll give me a treat? That isn't very nice."

"No, I'd never do that to you. We promised your parents we'd wait at least three months. We didn't promise them to jump into bed five minutes after the three months ended." Shego pulled the younger woman off the path and held her in her arms, "I want you. But I want our first time together to be special. Right now you're feeling overwhelmed and frustrated. I want us to have time together over break. If you don't make your B average I will love you and we will find a way to be together. If you make your B average, I have a special way for us to be together. I'm not trying to test or punish you. If you really think that we can check into a Motel 6 right now. Trust me Kim, you deserve better than that."

"You're not punishing me?"

Shego kissed her gently, "I want our first time together to be something we remember for the rest of our lives. I want it to be as special for you as you are to me. I want--" And whatever else Shego wanted was lost as Kim pulled her into a kiss as long and passionate as Shego's had been soft and gentle.

Bonnie's schedule allowed no time for Team Possible missions. Fortunately Ron demonstrated he was capable handling most situations. Shego took a couple herself -- "just to fight the boredom," she told Wade. And on a couple occasions Shego and Ron combined for a joint venture.

"Is this the only thing open in Middleton at three in the morning?" Shego complained.

"Do you think we'd be here if we had a choice? You said you were hungry."

"This place may make me change my mind."

"Kim and I sometimes come here after missions. Say, will capturing Professor Dementor hurt your reputation?"

"Nah, he and Drakken despise each other. He'll just think I was there to mess up his domination plan. Unless they got a good look at the boy sidekick -- but no one pays attention to you."

"What do you mean, sidekick?"

"Everyone knows Kim goes around with a boy sidekick -- that's why no one pays any attention to you."

"Kim and I are partners."

"Whatever."

"And even if I was Kim's sidekick that doesn't mean I would be yours."

"Get real. When you took your hero aptitude test it had to come back marked comedy relief. You just aren't partner material. Everyone knows what's-his-name is sidekick for a girl. So today you were mine."

Ron started to protest when the waitress came by for their order. By the time they had ordered he was ready to change the subject.

"What is this size thing with guys?" Shego asked, "Dementor is a short man -- so he's going to shrink everyone in the world down to six inches tall so he can be the biggest man on earth? Please, the man needs therapy more than he needs a shrink ray."

"Easy for you to say. Dementor nearly sat on me by accident. It had to be my scariest moment ever as a crime fighter. I mean, when you're only six inches tall his butt looked forty feet wide. You ever faced a forty foot butt?"

"Every time I look in the mirror. What do you think Stoppable, do these tights make my ass look fat?"

"You're fishing for compliments, Shego. Oh, nice bait."

Shego had a question as they finished their early breakfast. "Hey, Stoppable, are you really Jewish?"

"Yeah, why do you ask?"

"Well, you--"

"-- don't look Jewish. Yeah. None of us do. And, okay, I'm not very observant. What's the point."

"Actually, I had a question. My grandmother was born Jewish--"

"Grandmother? Which grandmother?"

"Mother's mother. Now--"

"What do you mean, born Jewish?"

"You've got to stop interrupting and let me ask my question at some point. Grandma was born in Hungary during the Nazi occupation. Her parents gave her to Christians to raise before all the Jews in the town were rounded up. No relative ever came back to claim her after the war I don't think anyone came back to the village after the war. Grandma was raised Catholic, came to this country in the late fifties..."

Ron stared at Shego -- "She's one of the lost children."

"What?"

"Remember Madelyn Albright, former Secretary of State? Besides the millions killed there were hundred, probably thousands who lost their Jewish identity during the war. Shego, you're Jewish."

"What are you talking about?"

"Jewish identity is determined by the mother. If your mother is Jewish -- you're Jewish. It's basic Halakah."

"Hall of wha?"

"Halakah, Jewish law. I mean I should have seen it. It explains the short temper, the sarcasm, the mood swings. You're a classic example of why Jewish guys go for shiksas."

"What's a shiksa?"

"Kim is. You're not. I need to write her a sympathy note."

"Get real Stoppable. I don't care what Halakah says I am. Grandma considered herself a good Catholic. Last I knew Mom was a back-slidden Episcopalian, and I'm not much of anything."

"We can debate that sometime later. Some Rabbis think you can renounce Jewish identity by going Christian. But you say you're not much of anything. If your grandmother was one of the lost children almost any congregation will accept you as Jewish."

"Really?"

"Really. Mazel Tov!"

Shego had utterly forgotten the question she meant to ask.

The phone call did not make Kim happy. "Guys, it's three-thirty in the morning. What are we doing here? I have to get up in another hour and a half."

"We'll be done by then."

"That's not the point, Ron. The point is I'm tired."

"We need you to judge a competition. Shego and me."

"Where is Shego?"

"She's disabling the alarms."

"What?"

"Hey, the three of us in there? We're more effective than any burglar alarms."

Shego opened the side door and Kim and Ron entered the warehouse. "It's pretty empty, most of the inventory has gone out for Christmas sales. We didn't want to make it too hard for you."

"So, what's the competition?"

"Stoppable thinks we're partners. I say he's still sidekick. We're going to play a little hide-and-seek. You find Ron first, he's sidekick. You find me first, we're partners."

"You got me up at three-thirty so you two can play hide-and-go-seek!"

"Sorry Princess, I'll make it up to you." Shego gave her a big hug.

"Hey, no trying to influence the judge."

Kim looked over to say something to Ron, but he had vanished. When she looked back Shego had also.

The warehouse was fairly big, but mostly empty, it couldn't be that hard.

Fifteen minutes into the competition Kim heard a thud and Ron's voice.

"Ooow! I was here first."

"I'm here now, Stoppable."

By the time Kim got to the spot where she thought the voices came from she found no one.

About fifteen minutes later...

"Hey, you touch me there again, Stoppable, and you lose the hand!"

"So worth it!"

Forty-five minutes into the competition Kim found it too creepy. She had looked at every possible hiding place in the warehouse three times. "Game is over guys! I can't find you. Call it a draw!"

Shego's voice, eerily distorted to keep Kim from locating the source, floated to her, "Oh, we realized you weren't going to find us twenty minutes ago."

Ron's voice, also distorted, continued, "So we changed the rules."

"You what!"

"We're playing tag. If I can get close enough to touch you without being seen I win."

"Not going to happen, Stoppable. I'll take this as easily as I should have taken hide-and-seek."

"No, No, NO!" Kim called, "It was bad enough being referee for you two. I refuse to be the goal post. You two creep me out." She turned slowly, scanning the warehouse one last time. At the end of the turn both Ron and Shego were there.

"So, how many times did you tag her Stoppable. I only managed about six."

Ron's jaw dropped. "She's lying KP, there is no way to get that close to you without you knowing it!"

"I thought you might make that sissy excuse, so I tore up a piece of paper I found on the floor. Kim, what's in your top right pocket?"

Kim checked. "My Kimmunicator... and a torn piece of paper."

"Check your top left pocket."

"Keys, and a piece of paper."

"Back right?"

"Wallet, and a piece of paper."

"Back left?"

"Piece of paper."

"Do I need to continue Stoppable, or will you admit defeat."

Ron bowed to Shego, "I am honored to serve as your sidekick."

She returned his bow, "I am honored to have you."

Shego went back to campus with Kim. "Okay, Shego, that was really scary."

"Huh, you really thought I could tag you without being seen?"

"You didn't?  
"Then how did you get those bits of paper into my pockets."

Shego laughed. "Oh, I knew from the start you'd never be able to find either of this in there. No offense, Kim. So I figured I'd suggest going to tag at some point and Stoppable would agree."

"I still don't understand."

"Do you remember the big hug I gave you before we started?"

"Yeah."

"Well, I planted the pieces of paper on you then."

"Then you cheated, you didn't win. You have to tell Ron."

"Oh, I cheated, but I did win -- and I'll bet Ron figures is out. Skill was only half of our contest Kim. The other half was deception and misdirection. I think I still have him beat in skill, and I know I have him beat at deception and misdirection. I won fair and square."

A few days later Kim returned to the dorm after class. She opened the door to find Bonnie applying make-up to -- Kim Possible.

"Huh?"

The Kim on the chair opened emerald green eyes to look into Kim's own darker green eyes. "Deception and misdirection, Kim."

"Who applied the body makeup?"

"Come on Kim, it's just on what shows." Bonnie told her, "I didn't have her strip naked in front of me and rub it on her breasts, caressing them as her nipples stiffened under my touch --"

"Sit down Kim, killing your roomie is still murder. Teasing won't give you a plea of justifiable homicide."

Kim sat down, sulking, as Bonnie finished getting 'Kim' ready.

"So where am 'I' going this evening?"

"'You' and Ron are speaking at a statewide Big Brothers meeting on the value of staying in school. We'll probably do a little martial arts demonstration too. Oh, Bonnie, are you sure the wig will stay on?"

"Trust me, I'm a theater major."

"Like, you can tell kids the value of staying in school?" Kim complained.

Bonnie interrupted, "Like, hello, Kim Possible who is in danger of flunking out of college will be a role model? Monique says you still have an English Comp assignment. Get your butt on the chair and start writing or tonight's Godiva is mine."

The semester finally wound to it's close. "Ready for you last final, Kim?"

"Yeah. Oh, Bonnie, I just wanted to say..."

"Thank you?"

"No, I wanted to say 'Drop dead,' but you wouldn't get the joke. Would you be willing to accept the title of my worst friend?"

"I guess so, that seems to hit it."

"Would you accept me giving you a hug?"

"Uh, I'd rather not."

"How about a kiss, can I slip you a little tongue?"

"KIM!"

"God, Bonnie, you are just too easy to freak out."

"Remember that when you come back from your final and I've had the lock changed on the door."


	7. Feliz Navidad

Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

**Feliz Navidad**

Kim had finished her last test four days earlier and headed home for semester break. Shego had left 'on business' and couldn't be reached -- out of service range for Kim's cell phone provider. Kim wondered if it would be fair to ask Wade to provide her with the same sort of no-frills Kimmunicator Ron carried.

Anne Possible took the call from the university on the kitchen phone. It was bad news, but she had to break it to Kim. Her face grim she knocked on Kim's door pushed it open after her daughter called, "Come on in."

"Are you all right, Mom? You don't look happy."

Anne took a deep breath. "I'm not. That was Dr. Kemal on the phone."

"I thought I did pretty well on finals. It wasn't good news?"

"It depends on what you call good news. You did very well on your finals. You ended up with a high B average for the semester. I hate to call that bad news, but I promised to give you this if you made it."

Kim opened the envelope. Inside was a plane ticket and a 'what to bring' list: passport, toothbrush, swimsuit, smile. Written under the list was one instruction, 'Look for your driver in the airport.' The itinerary called for her to leave on December 24th, returning to Middleton on the 30th.

Kim broke into a broad smile. Her mother prayed Kim would turn down the invitation, "You don't have to go, Kim. It means missing Christmas with the family."

On Christmas Eve Kim picked her bag from the carousel and headed for the line waiting to go through customs.

"Miss Possible?" a uniformed man asked.

"Yes?"

"Welcome to Mexico. May I say thank you for our entire nation for the way you stopped Pool Shark from fixing the soccer match with Argentina last year."

"No big. Once I figured out the ball was radio-controlled it was easy to jam the signal."

"Please come with me, we'll take you through the short line."

Ten minutes later Kim headed towards the exit. The end of the airport was filled with rental car companies and men in blue shirts and white pants asking if she needed a taxi. Outside she could see lines of buses. She noticed a group of uniformed chauffeurs holding up signs and looked for her name. Before she found her name she recognized her driver

From the waist up Shego was the perfect picture of a professional driver -- cap, mirrored glasses, starched shirt, tie and uniform jacket. From the waist down Shego was also dressed as a professional, but the short skirt and fish net stockings suggested a different sort of profession.

Kim grinned and walked up to her driver, "I am Kim Possible. Are you waiting for me?"

"Yes, señorita. Welcome to Mexico." Then she kissed Kim, a passionate open-mouthed kiss that stunned the other drivers.

Kim handed her bag to Shego, who took it and said, "This way Miss Possible." They managed to get out of the terminal before they burst into laughter.

"If I ever get out of the mercenary business I may become a driver. I had three business men asking what company I worked for before you got here."

"And it looked like a dozen gave you their business cards after that kiss."

There was no limo waiting them in the parking area. Shego threw Kim's bag into the back seat of an orange VW bug. "Make yourself comfortable, it's about an hour drive."

"To Cancún?"

"To Playa del Carmen, they use the same airport."

Kim wondered about the Volkswagen Beetle, "Did you rent this just for me?"

"No, I've owned this for a couple years."

"They did a great job of restoration."

"Restoration, hell. They kept making the Beetle here until a couple years ago. This was in the last production run."

"Isn't a little weird that we both have Beetles?"

"Not weird, it's fate. We are meant for each other."

"Oooh, and WHEN are we meant for each other."

"I'm thinking after a candle-lit dinner tonight. We'll take a long walk along the beach--"

"We're on the beach?"

"Well, almost. Damn it Kim, I'm trying to get you in the mood and you're asking about the house. The Mexican government owns various houses they let witnesses, visiting diplomats, hard-working bureaucrats or free-lancers like me use. I get whatever is available when I'm here. Twice I've had fancy places right on the beach. This one is a lot smaller, and about a block away. Oh, and the house keeper watches everything we do for their secret service. Are those enough details? Can I go back to trying to seduce you?"

"Only if you feel the need -- I'm already in the mood."

Kim stared at the palms as they headed to the coast. While she was a world traveler she flew in and out of most countries too fast to look at the scenery.

As they got ever closer to the beach house Kim had to ask a question that troubled her. "Shego, are we psychic?"

"I think so," the pale woman smiled.

"What is your real name? Can you make love if you don't even know the name of the person you're in bed with?"

Shego lost her smile, and silence reigned for minute in the Beetle, "Shego has been my name for years."

"When you were five years old?"

"Probably since I was three -- but that was only a nickname then. If you want the story we have time on the drive..." She sighed, "My birth certificate reads Sharon Georgiana O'Ceallaigh. I need to spell that for you some time."

"It's not O-K-E-L-L-Y?"

"If it was I wouldn't have to spell it out. Teachers hated seeing my name on the first day of class. Most of the O'Ceallaighs who came to the US changed the spelling when they got here. Or maybe it was done to them at Ellis Island. My folk kept the old spelling, but became more American than Irish a couple generations back." Shego laughed, "Until dad. His parents named him George, but now he's born-again Irish. He wanted all his kids to have G names, thought it would be cute. Mom put her foot down, but we all ended up with G middle names."

"Is Georgiana from your dad's name?"

"That's what dad says. Mom says it's from a character in Pride and Prejudice. Anyway, I was Sharon, or Georgiana, and sometimes Georgie as a kid. But Henry Gregory, he was old enough to read, noticed his initials, or maybe it was the fact we lived in Chicago, but he became Hego and recruited Matt and me to join Team Go and fight crime in the back yard."

"Matt?"

"Matthew Gilliford, Mego." Shego smiled at the memories, "I think I challenged Hego for leadership of Team Go from the start. Mom says I hit him with a sand pail when I was four and gave him a bloody nose.

"I was almost seven when the twins were born, William Grant and Edward Geoffrey, and glad to not be the baby -- but as the only girl I still got lots of smothering. I thought later we should have called them Id and Ego instead of Wego."

"What was your family like when you were growing up?"

"You can make any family sound good or bad. Looking back now it was a happy time. Mom and Dad sometimes got in crazy fights with each other -- but never with us kids. Until the comet hit we were more normal than a girl with a rocket scientist and a brain surgeon for her parents."

"Do you ever see them?"

"I don't think I can, Kim. It would break their hearts."

"... I thought you said you had nothing to cry over?"

"It's just a piece of dust in my eye."

Kim changed the subject. She wanted to hear more about Shego's family, but worried that an air of melancholy might interfere with her own plans. She steered the conversation back towards how wonderful it was for the two of them to finally have some time together.

Eventually the Beetle pulled into the driveway of a house a little fancier than Kim had expected from Shego's description.

Shego's heart pounded as she opened the door and let Kim into the house. "There are a couple bedrooms. I'm in here," she gestured to the right. "Do you want your own and some privacy or--"

Kim's tongue kept Shego from finishing that sentence. When they broke for air Kim picked her up and headed into Shego's bedroom.

"Kim, what about tonight?"

"We can do it tonight too, but I've been waiting for this."

This was not Shego's vision of their first time together. She hesitated for a moment, wondering if she had the strength to say "No," but surrendering herself to the fire of Kim's passion. It thrilled Shego that this beautiful woman wanted her and she could not deny Kim anything -- although she had one request, "Be careful, the uniform is rented. I have to take it back."

Kim responded with a question, "Aren't you supposed to be undressing me?"

Minutes later they fell onto bed together. Shego had never felt like such an object of lust before. Kim's need both thrilled and frightened her. The younger woman's inexperience showed, but what she lacked in experience she more than made up for with enthusiasm.

Forty-five minutes later the older woman brushed a strand of red hair from Kim's face and gently kissed her. "Thank you. Did you do that on purpose?"

"Was I so bad you thought it could be an accident? ... Sorry, what do you mean, 'on purpose'?"

"I was afraid I might be taking advantage of you. But that certainly seemed to be your idea."

"You're welcome."

"It is considered polite, however, to ask if your partner is in the mood."

"I'm sorry..."

"Don't be. I was in the mood -- you just need to file that away for future reference. Oh, and can I assume we are both in here instead of separate bedrooms?"

"I don't want to see a bedroom on this trip without you in it," Kim laughed.

Actually, Shego was upset. She had planned on a special night and Kim's spontaneous love-making had thrown off everything in her imagination. Still, the romantic evening she had planned could celebrate their first intimacy of the afternoon instead of serving as a prelude to their first love-making. Shego had instructed the housekeeper to take the day off and she took Kim to a restaurant in Playa that evening. Under candlelight they ate their dinner entrée of conch in lime juice and cilantro, and for dessert -- strawberries and cream. After a trip back to beach house they changed into swimsuits and wandered hand-in-hand down the beach.

"We're going back to the house in a little while I have a bottle of white wine on ice. You'll have a small glass. You'll hate it because you have no taste for it, but you'll drink it with me because you'll be afraid if I drink the whole bottle by myself I'll get drunk. I'll pour just a little of it on you, it's warm enough tonight that it will feel good. And then I'm going to lick it off you. And that will feel even better. And then, I pour a little more. And lick a little more."

"And then?"

"Oh, let's leave something for a surprise."

"Can we head back now?"

"No, it's a beautiful night and we are going to stand here on the beach and enjoy the moonlight and each other's company for a little while longer."

Kim shivered, "It is starting to get chilly."

"I've got a solution for that. She moved behind Kim and wrapped her arms around the redhead, then Shego raised her body temperature slightly. They watched the stars a little longer, Kim content in the warmth of her lover's arms.

When they returned to the beach house Shego found herself grateful for the explosive love making of the afternoon. It removed the edge from their desperate need for each other, and allowed the more experienced woman to take things slowly that evening.

Much, much later Kim held the sleeping Shego in her arms. She truly believed she had never felt this happy in her life.

Shego awoke first. She didn't move, but lay content in Kim's arms until the younger woman stirred. They moved into the kitchen to break the fast. Kim sat at the table while Shego checked to see what was on hand. The dark haired woman looked over at the redhead and felt alarmed that Kim didn't look happy. " Are you okay? You look kind of ... I don't know... wistful? Was there something wrong with last night?"

Kim gave her a big smile. "No, nothing wrong with last night. It's just... This is the first Christmas I haven't been with my family. I love being here with you, it's just a little weird not being with them. Maybe next year you can be with us in Middleton."

Shego laughed, "Let's see what your Mom and Dad think about that." _"And if I'm not in prison. Global Justice must have that next Cage about ready."_ Shego planned ahead, she opened a drawer and announced, "Merry Christmas. Don't know if this will make you feel better, but I got you a little present."

"Another one? The trip is enough."

"Catch!"

Inside the box was a medium width gold ring, heavier than Kim expected. The flat top of the ring, which would be visible when the ring was worn, had alternating inlays of black onyx and green jade. "It's beautiful... Oh, I didn't get you anything."

"Kim, can you stop feeding me straight lines?"

"What?"

"You're setting me up to play the romantic fool and carry on about how much you gave me by coming here. Can we wait until after breakfast before we swear undying love?"

"You're not going to try and send me back or exchange me?"

"The warranty's off. I'm afraid I have to keep you."

Kim giggled, "Hey, what is for breakfast? I worked up a big appetite."

"I don't know if Itxel will be in today, so--"

"Itxel?"

"I told you, there's a housekeeper. Maybe she'll be in later today -- but the government has to pay triple-overtime if you work on Christmas. It may be just you and me kid. I'm not completely helpless in the kitchen. Do you want Chorizo con Huevos or Huevos Rancheros?"

"Those sound great! What are they?"

"It roughly translates into American as eggs and sausage or scrambled eggs."

After eating Shego left the dishes by the sink. "Come on, Kim. Let's head for the beach. It's as nice with the sun as it is with the moon."

First, of course, the two fair-skinned women had to apply sun block. Lots of sun block, it was important to be protected. And it was nice to have someone to make sure you got the sun block into those hard-to-reach places. Especially those hard-to-reach places. That wonderfully slippery sun block in those wonderful, hard to reach places... And it is very important to show your appreciation when someone helps you...

"Damn it, Kim. We were supposed to get to the beach this morning. I want you to see more than our bedroom while you're here."

"You're saying that laying out on the beach is more fun than this? Flash-light of truth?"


	8. Faster Than the Speed of Night

Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

FF.N delights in eliminating certain symbols from text. "+Dialogue within 'plus' sign indicates translation from a Spanish original.+"

Extensive quote from Faster than the Speed of Night, written by Jim Steinman, performed by Bonnie Tyler.

**Faster than the Speed of Night**

When they returned from the beach that evening they found the dishes washed and a cold supper laid out.

"When do I see this Itxel, or is she some genie who appears to magically do your bidding?"

"My guess you'll see her plenty tomorrow. A short, square woman who looks almost Asian, but she's pure Maya. I told her I had a guest so I don't want either of you too surprised if you run into her in the kitchen. She'll pretend she doesn't know English, but she'll do what you ask. I'm just glad we had today all to ourselves."

The two went back out for a moonlit walk along the beach that night, then returned to the bedroom.

"Kim, I've figured out how we can make our millions and retire. We need to turn this morning into a board game."

"Sunblock: The Board Game?"

Shego stuck her tongue out at Kim. "No, I don't have a name yet... The Erogenous Zone Game? Find that Erogenous Zone? Maybe instead of a board game we make it into something like Twister... Oh, here's another possible name Are We There Yet? We market it as a game for loving couples."

Kim laughed, "So, I imagine we'd need different editions for couples like us, or two guys, or straight couples."

"Now you're thinking Kim. If we can just figure out some rules--"

"I think people have been doing it without rules for a long time. They call it foreplay."

"Oh, Kim, you've got the name for the game. Tells everyone what it's all about. Oh, oh, here's an idea -- Fourplay, f-o-u-r -- a party version."

"NO!"

"So, if I suggested a family edition--"

Kim lunged for Shego, who deftly avoided her. The redhead then chased Shego around the bedroom twice before tackling Shego and tickling her unmercifully.

They sealed the peace treaty between the warring partners with a series of kisses. "I'm not sure about your game idea," Kim told Shego, "but I'm willing to do some product testing. Oh, here's some background music for tonight's research." She took a CD from her bag. Almost as soon as she had found the track and pushed play Shego burst into laughter.

_Faster than the speed of night  
Faster than the speed of night_

_Let me show you how to drive me crazy  
Let me show you how to make me feel so good  
Let me show you how to take me to the edge of the stars and then back again  
You've gotta show me how to drive you crazy  
You've gotta show me all the things you want to happen to you  
We've gotta tell each other everything we always wanted someone to do  
_

_I don't want to push you now and I don't want to rush  
We're getting closer every second now, but close is not enough  
The night'll be our cover and we'll huddle below  
We got the music in our fingers and the radio_

The noise of the helicopter rudely refused to pass by overhead. Instead it sounded like it was descending right outside the house, disturbing an evening which had promised to be every bit as enjoyable as the one before.

Shego looked disgusted, "Oh, crap, I'll bet it's the Federales."

"Do you need to escape?"

"No, I'll need to answer the door."

Shego quickly wrapped a sheet around herself into some sort of toga and left the bedroom. Kim dressed quickly in case a fight or flight situation arose.

When Kim walked into the living room Shego and one man were sitting on the couch, talking. Three other men were spread around the room as a defensive perimeter. They all had a military bearing, but none were in uniform -- Kim guessed some sort of government agency. The man on the couch smiled when he saw Kim, then turned to Shego, "Sorry if I have disturbed anything," he said with a smirk.

"You have," she assured him. "Kim, it appears I have a little business in Mexico City before dawn. Do you want to come with us?" The man on the couch started to object, "No, Colonel, she understands security and keeping her mouth shut. Kim, throw our toilet kits together in your backpack and some extra clothes. I'm getting on my uniform -- we're out of here in five minutes... Is that fast enough, Colonel?"

"Yes."

Shego slipped into her green and black working clothes as quickly as Kim could gather toothbrushes and deodorant.

Once outside Shego admired their transport, "Oooh, a Lynx! I'm assuming it's been modified?"

"A little."

"Can I take the controls for part of the trip?"

"If you wish, hurry."

Once on board Shego explained. "There are several stock helicopters with faster airspeeds than the standard Westland Lynx, but a modified Lynx holds the speed record. It will be a couple hours until Mexico City and I haven't had as much experience as I'd like flying these."

Engine noise made talk difficult, but Kim tried, "Why are we going to Mexico City?"

"Kidnap capital of the world, Princess."

"Really?"

"That's what some people say. I figure places like Baghdad are worse, but they're so bad you can't rely on statistics. Mexico City is as bad as it gets under rule of law."

"So, why do they need you?"

"I'm not really sure. The victim is the daughter of someone high in government. There was a possible sighting they want me to check out. At the moment it doesn't make sense, but they let me use beach houses and store my car and cycle--"

"You have a motorcycle? Can we ride it?"

"You always want the thrill, don't you?"

"Hey, it's why we're together."

"If we didn't have our audience," Shego jerked her head towards the security men in the back of the helicopter, "we could join the mile high club. Or maybe you don't mind an audience."

"SHEGO!"

"Awww, it's so cute. I haven't corrupted you completely. You can still blush."

Eventually a uniformed co-pilot came back, "Señora Sombra, Colonel says you can take the controls."

Kim tried to sleep, but the interior of the helicopter was too noisy to allow her to doze off.

Once in Mexico City the Colonel explained the need for Shego's unique talents. The neighborhood where someone had reported the kidnapper's car was extremely wealthy. A house to house search in the area would endanger the life of the hostage. And whether the kidnappers were discovered or not, the search would anger some of the rich and powerful. Shego would do a fast reconnaissance of the houses in a search area before dawn broke. She would either locate the home used by the kidnappers or enable the authorities to rule out the reported sighting.

It sounded suspicious to Shego, but when they took her to the edge of her search area it made sense. If kidnappers were using one of these mansions it was obvious that for someone crime paid. There were eight houses for her to check. The first three went quickly. She fought the temptation to pocket some of the jewelry, cash, or silver laying around, but she tried to avoid pilfering in Mexico -- and this was so easy she wondered if it might be a trap to test her.

The thug standing by the front window at the fourth house suggested she might have found the place. Another lookout watched the back door. There were drug lords and other options, but Shego suspected she'd found the kidnappers. An unlocked window on the second floor gave her access. Shego prowled through the dark house. Six men, no kidnap victim... Something wrong in a hall... Lots of dirt tracked on the floor leading from a locked door ... Someone digging an escape tunnel was a good theory. The door probably went to the basement It was bolted on the inside -- someone was down there. Once outside a thin telescoping periscope allowed Shego a limited look in the basement through a heavy grate. The sun would be up soon, it was time for Shego to get out of there and make her report.

The Colonel's men had obtained blueprints of all the houses Shego would check, she had one spread open in front of her. "They keep two men on watch, one front and one back, and two men in the basement with the girl. These are the bedrooms they were using, but during the day they could be anywhere in the house.  
"The guards wouldn't let me check the front and back doors, but the door to the basement is reinforced. You need to consider walls or windows because they may be easier to breach. It's not going to be easy, they may kill the victim and if there is an escape tunnel I have no way of knowing where it goes."

"Is there any chance you would consider some sort of secret attack on them?"

"Like the anesthesia gas that killed so many in Moscow when the Russians used it? No. I don't like the eight-to-one odds. And it's full daylight, I can't hide as well and no one is asleep. I've done the job you requested. I'm sorry Colonel, but you'll need to formulate your own battle plan."

"Come on, we have to help that girl," Kim protested.

"You weren't listening, were you Kim. This doesn't concern us. There is no way an attack on that place is going to work. It would end up with the girl dead, and maybe an attacker or two. I don't want to get hurt, and I don't want you to get hurt. I did my job. We're out of here."

"There's got to be a way. Colonel? I'd like to help you, if I can."

"We're going back to Playa, our work is done!"

"I'm staying here. Someone needs help!"

"Damn you, Possible. Okay, Colonel, it appears my partner wants us to take this. It is not part of my usual job, the family will need to pay me for my time and the danger -- Oh, and any expenses, including medical. Please get someone on the phone for negotiations. We're not cheap -- but you can tell them I'm effective."

While one of the Colonel's men contacted the family Shego, Kim, and the Colonel studied the blueprint.

"Could we get in through that window you found open last night?" Kim asked.

"Perhaps, but I think we would be better off if we try and go in through the front door."

"The front door, how are we going to go in through reinforced door?"

"They're going to invite us in. Kim, we're going to be guests."

In the early afternoon the front lookout noticed a taxi pull up in front of the house. He watched the occupants, two women, argue with the driver. One of them held some sort of paper and waved it in the driver's face. He pointed towards the house. The lookout called a second man to join him.

Meanwhile, the two women had emerged from the taxi, but still argued with the driver. He pointed to the house again, then held his hand out for money. The darkly tanned woman passed him some bills. It looked like she expected change -- but the driver sped away -- flipping the women a one-fingered salute. The lookout took his gun out its holster.

The colonel smiled as he pulled away. There had been several times over the last four years when he wanted to give Medianoche Sombra the finger. Today she had literally asked for it.

"+What are they doing?+" the lookout asked his friend.

"+I can't tell, but look at the tits on that redhead.+"

"+Think they are police?+"

"+Do police dress or look like that? They sure as hell aren't carrying any weapons.+" The women were dressed for the pool, or perhaps more accurately undressed for the pool. One of them appeared to have a liquor bottle of some sort, but their tiny wrists bags couldn't have held anything bigger than cell phones and credit cards. The lookout put his gun away.

The two women appeared to have continued the argument, now with each other, in front of the house, one still waving the piece of paper around.

The two women actually were arguing -- although it had nothing to do with the scene they were trying to create or the prop Kim was waving in the air

"God, Kim, if that suit were any smaller you'd be showing them your birthmark. Couldn't you have bought something with some modesty?"

"Well, you're the one always telling me to use distraction and misdirection as weapons."

"Deception, Kim, deception. Not distraction. You can't deceive anyone in that swim suit."

"You're just jealous because I have bigger distractions."

"We have their attention, I can see one of them watching us. Time for act two."

The lookout was almost curious enough to open the door and ask what was going on when the red head started towards the house, her companion following with seeming reluctance. She pounded on the door and the lookout opened it a crack.

"Excuse-o, could you give me the telephone number-o for a--" she turned to her companion, "How do you say taxi company?"

_"God, Kim. They aren't total morons. Bonnie is a better actress. You've got to be counting on your boobs to get us inside."_

"Excuse me, señoritas, I speak English. What seems to be the problem?"

"We were looking for a house," she handed him the piece of paper. "But this place doesn't look like you have a party going on."

The piece of paper appeared to be a bar napkin, with an address badly scrawled on it. The house number was the same as this house -- but the street name was illegible. The women had to be drunk, they reeked of whiskey and tequila.

"I am sorry señoritas, I will give you the number--"

His friend pushed him aside and opened the door wide. "Come in. Come in. You are early for the party. It will start very soon." "+Idiot, keep watch, you can have a turn later.+"

"Where's the pool? There's supposed to be a pool!" the redhead giggled.

"Come this way, we'll show you to the pool. Let Jorge get your friend a drink."

The four men divided into two teams of two, wanting to make certain both women could be overpowered quickly. Kim had a 'host' in front of her, and another behind to make sure she didn't bolt. The man in the lead heard a soft thud and turned. "Your friend tripped," the redhead giggled. He bent to help the second man on his feet and the redhead's knee connected with his chin with a force that rocked his head back and left him instantly unconscious. She grabbed him by the shoulders to keep him from crashing to the floor, but his weight caused her to partially lose her balance, twisting her ankle. Kim clenched her teeth to keep from screaming in pain. She had already screwed up once, making more noise than she should have in dropping the man behind her. And Shego had been right -- the high heels were a mistake, but she had wanted to draw attention to her legs -- although the men had kept their attention on the contents of her bikini top. Kim kicked off her shoes and limped back to the first room. Peeking in she found Shego had already tied up the two men who stayed with her.

"Do you want me to bring my two in here," Kim whispered.

"Not if you're going to make noise like that! The lookouts at the front and back must have heard something."

"Look they're probably expecting some noise -- like two women being overpowered."

"Well, they can wait a little longer."

"Do you want me to take one out -- we could coordinate time."

"Nothing personal Kim, but you're better at strength than stealth -- and I have a sense of the layout. Why don't you start getting your props ready and review your lines."

Shego chose the lookout from the front door as the audience for their little drama, which meant she had to take out the back lookout first. About five minutes later the face of the front guard is face was the perfect shade of purple from the cord around his neck when Kim walked in, covered with blood and wiping the blade of a knife she had taken from one of the captives. The blood splatter patterns were wrong, but there had been no time for more specific directions -- and Shego didn't like being reminded why she knew what splatter patterns should look like. For stage and screen corn syrup and food coloring make convincing blood. For this, more private performance, it was important to have the smell right too. Kim's 'liquor bottle' had carried a mix of pig's blood and anti-coagulant to keep it liquid.

"Du bist wohl vom wilden affen gebissen!" the red head insisted.

"Nein, speak English."

Before they went in Kim had demanded to know what this little German charade was all about. "Because, Princess, there is a chance someone might recognize the famous Kim Possible -- and remember that she doesn't hurt people. We want to be unknown and unpredictable. I hope they don't speak German. Oh, and be sure to stay it to Stoppable when you get back."

"That one is still alive?"

"I thought we might question him first. Hey, stupid-o, do you understand this can be slow and painful or fast and painless?"

He nodded.

"Work with me here. What kind of a ransom were you and your buddies going to get?"

"Twenty-five million pesos."

"Damn, we're only getting two million for the rescue."

"I'd like that other twenty-three million," the bloody maniac whispered. "But her daddy would recognize our voices if we call in and demand it."

"You want to live?" Shego asked their captive. "Here's your chance. We need a phone man to speak with the family. Do a good job and we let you walk."

"What's my share?"

"Your share? Your share is your life."

"What about my friends in the basement? If the girl sees you she will tell the authorities if she's ransomed?"

"What makes you think she's going to be released?" The redhead asked. "It's easier just to kill everyone in the basement -- we just need you for the phone."

"You need to keep her alive! Her parents will want to hear her voice. If she has seen you she might tell her parents -- you would never see the money!"

"I am sorry I called you stupid-o," the darkly tanned woman said. "Fear has made you smart. Beate, we need him and his friends alive." She addressed the captive, "I am even willing to let you and your friends split our two million, while we take the twenty-three, if we can do this without more bloodshed."

"Two million isn't very much."

The tan woman shrugged. "Perhaps it would be enough for your friends in the basement. They should be enough -- we don't need you."

"Please, I'm in with you. What do you need?"

"What we need is for the door to the basement to be unbolted."

"No one else will die?"

"No one else will die."

Kim stood to the side of the door while Shego remained behind their captive as he knocked on the door, "+Hey, either of you need a break?+"

"Si." The door unbolted from the other side. Kim knocked the man at the top of the stair out and caught him before he could fall, a much easier feat since she had ditched the heels. Shego meanwhile had gagged the front lookout -- who sat very quietly under the eye of the bloody maniac. Shego went into the gloom of the basement, lost in shadows. Within seconds it was over.

"Colonel? You can send your men in to pick up the prisoners -- and tell the family I would like the reward money in my account as soon as possible."


	9. Masochism Tango

Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

Extensive quote from "Holding Out For a Hero" written by Jim Steinman and Dean Pitchford and performed by Bonnie Tyler. Minor changes in wording for gender reasons.

Title is from a song by Tom Lehrer

**Masochism Tango**

The helicopter returned them to the beach house outside Playa del Carmen in the early evening. The fast shower at the police station before they changed to street clothes had removed the smell of the whiskey and tequila they had used for cologne and washed the pig's blood off Kim. Once back at the beach house, however, Shego wanted a long shower with the chemical soap that was supposed to remove the tan dye and Kim would not feel really clean until after a much, much longer shower.

They went into the shower together. After forty minutes, and every drop of hot water in the house, Kim finally felt clean. Shego had not quite returned to her normal hue, a hint of olive drab remained in her complexion.

They toweled each other off and returned to the bedroom to work on their hair, swapping stories of the times when long hair was a pain.

As they talked about the rescue Shego asked, "You were great, Kim. Do you have any idea why I was laughing so hard the other night when you put on 'Faster Than the Speed of Night'?"

"No clue."

"After you played that song about 'Loving You's a Dirty Job,' I bought The Best of Bonnie Tyler on eBay. There was a song that reminded me of you. You're a hero." Shego took a CD from a drawer, found the track and sang along, singing a little louder on a few words to cover the original gender in the song.

_Somewhere after midnight In my wildest fantasy  
Somewhere just beyond my reach  
There's someone reaching back for me  
Racing on the thunder and rising with the heat  
It's gonna take a superGIRL to sweep me off my feet  
_

_I need a hero  
I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night  
SHE's gotta be strong  
And SHE's gotta fast  
And SHE's gotta be fresh from the fight  
I need a hero  
I'm holding out for a hero 'til the morning light  
SHE's gotta be sure  
And it's gotta soon  
And SHE's gotta be larger than life._

"Come on, hero, tell me how you want your share of the reward -- then let's get back to what we were doing before we were so rudely interrupted. I'm going to give you a SPECIAL bonus tonight because we worked so well together."

"The money is yours, I didn't ask for it."

"Yes, but you did half the work. You earned it."

"I didn't work with you for a reward. I did it to help save the girl."

"You think it's wrong to take money for helping people?"

"How can you take money from someone in trouble?"

Shego stared at Kim. "We put our fuckin' lives on the line. We could have been killed. It's not your job, and it's sure as hell not my job, to go around the world doing good for free. Tell me, if you get your job for Global Justice do you plan to get a salary or work for nothing -- or do you expect mommy and daddy to keep paying your bills while you play hero?"

"Global Justice will pay me a salary."

"Then aren't you getting paid to do good?"

"It's not the same!"

"No, you've got a steady nine-to-five, a retirement plan, and health benefits. I don't have any of that. I don't even do billable hours. If you want my services you pay for them. I'm damn good at what I do and I'm worth what I charge. If people didn't think so they wouldn't hire me."

"You expect police and firemen to get paid, don't you?"

"Yes, Kim. That's MY point. They get paid to help people. That's their job. The police could have stormed the house -- and probably gotten the girl killed in the fight. But they would have been doing the job they were paid to do. Her mom and dad wanted something special -- they wanted their daughter out alive -- and that took our skills. We did the job we were paid to do."

Ten minutes of escalating volume failed to resolve the argument. Finally, a weary Kim said, "Why don't we just go to bed. We haven't had a lot of sleep in the last forty-eight hours. Maybe you're right. Let me sleep on it."

They slept back to back that night.

Kim awoke with Shego's tongue in her ear and the pale woman's hand cupping a breast. "Want to work up an appetite for breakfast?"

"I don't think so." The hand moved away.

"What's wrong? Still the hero versus mercenary thing?"

"Maybe. I don't think so. Perhaps you are right and I just don't like the rate you charged. Maybe I'm PMSing, I feel moody and don't know why."

"You picked a hell of a time for it -- this is worse than the colonel at the door the other night."

After breakfast they headed into Playa del Carmen for feminine hygiene products and to let Kim buy souvenirs and gifts for friends and family in Middleton.

"Are you sure you don't want your share of the reward."

"No, it's all yours." Kim snapped.

"Would it pollute you to use blood money?"

"I'm sorry, that wasn't what I meant."

"Can we do this -- you spend a lot more than you planned and we can tell people the gifts are from us?"

"I... I guess so."

It wasn't an ideal solution, but it worked. They spent the morning shopping and had lunch at a nice restaurant away from the tourist zone.

"This sure doesn't taste like the food at Bueno Nacho."

"Please, Kim, tell me you like this better or I'm going to feel like I'm in a relationship with a twelve-year old."

They were back to the tourist zone after lunch. Shego felt like Kim needed to spend money, she had earned it in Shego's opinion and a refusal to spend would have been a rejection of Shego. Kim felt some reluctance to spend the money, but there were so many stores and pretty things and so many friends to remember that she tried to overcome her scruples.

In the evening they watched the moon rise and told their old war stories, fights the other had never seen and each sharing her own perspective on their battles against each other.

"Are you okay, Kim? Do you want to sleep alone tonight?"

"No, I want to be with you. I just don't think I'm in the mood for more than sleep."

Shego rolled over in bed, her back towards Kim, and went promptly to sleep. Kim lay awake in the dark. The relationship with Shego was starting to terrify her and she didn't know how to articulate it. It wasn't that time of the month, and she had to find some way to tell Shego what was happening.

Around two in the morning Shego awoke with a start. Kim had spooned her in her sleep and held on to her tightly -- as if in some dream someone was trying to take Shego from her. The older woman found Kim's embrace both uncomfortable and comforting at the same time and eventually made it back to sleep.

"Feeling any better this morning?" Shego asked hopefully.

"About the same."

Another lost day. There was so little time for them to be together in a place where Shego could feel comfortable and relax. But even being with Kim on the beach or shopping made the thief feel good.

"Want to see Tulum? It's a small Mayan site just down the coast, very pretty. Chichen Itza is more spectacular, but it's inland and a lot more of a drive."

"Did you say you have a motorcycle? Can we take it?"

"I guess so. We may need to buy you some stuff -- like helmet and boots. Let's see what I have in storage."

Shego could almost outfit Kim, but she needed to get a pair of boots sturdy enough for protection and comfortable enough for walking before they could leave.

"Does it really stay in shape for riding from one trip to another down here?" Kim asked before they started out.

"No, I only make it once or twice a year. But the service is really good about checking over the car or cycle before I arrive. If I arrived unannounced I'm not sure if things would work."

"Kim held on tight as they flew down the highway. Shego enjoyed the feel of Kim's arms around her.

"A few days ago the lines would really have been crazy, all the New Agers wanting to be here for Winter Solstice at the temple. It would have been even wilder at Chichen Itza."

"It seems to me like the line here is plenty long today."

They weren't with a tour, but Shego seemed to know the place well enough to explain the details. From the rocks at the top of the cliff they could look over most of the site and down to the ocean below and the tourists playing on the small beach. It was a beautiful place to be with someone you loved, but Kim seemed nervous and out of sorts.

In the afternoon they did some riding just for fun, and Shego found a relatively deserted area to give Kim a few lessons in driving a motorcycle. Then, back at the beach house a fast shower washed off the dust of Tulum and the afternoon before dinner.

After Itxel had cleaned and left Shego moved into the kitchen to make a small mess. Fresh strawberries, a lemon, lime, sugar, and lots of ice. She poured the frosty mixture into two glasses, then added more rum than she should have to her own glass and a splash of grenadine for Kim's daiquiri.

Kim politely commented on how good it tasted, but silence dominated the living room as they sat there and sipped their drinks.

"Okay, Kim, I give up. What in the hell is going on? You've been moody for more than two days. Don't give me the PMS crap -- you haven't even opened the sack from the drugstore the other day. If it's the mercenary - hero thing we need to get it out in the open, it's not going to go away. Is this some sort of a test? Are you punishing me for not meeting your standards?"

Kim waited too long to answer. "I don't really know what's wrong. I think I lied to you Shego." The little color Shego had seemed to drain away. "I think I lied to me too..."

Shego headed for the door. "Wait," Kim called. "Let me explain."

"Later, Possible. I'm going out to the beach. I need to be alone."

"No!"

"It's okay, I'm good at being alone."

Kim laid back on the couch and stared at the ceiling. She wished Shego had stayed instead of running away. She wished that Shego would open the door and come back. And she desperately wished there was some way for her to put her feelings into words. She finally decided Shego was not coming back, at least not anytime soon, and pulled a t-shirt over her swimsuit top. She knew she needed to head to the beach if she was going to find Shego. But which way had Shego gone? If she wanted to get drunk she would have taken a right and hiked into town. She had said she wanted to be alone. Kim turned left and hoped Shego would let herself be found.

Almost a mile north Kim spotted a small figure sitting on a rocky outcropping in the surf. The ocean breeze blew her long, black hair and her pale green skin mirrored some of the ocean's twilight colors -- she seemed vaguely unreal, like a mermaid staring out at the ocean.

Kim made no effort to hide the sound of her approach, doubting she could have fooled Shego anyway. But Shego showed no sign of hearing Kim, perhaps Kim's noise was lost in the sound of the surf -- or perhaps Shego was too lost in her own thoughts. Kim joined Shego on the rock, her own legs dangling down in the water, before Shego acknowledged her presence.

"What do you want, Possible?"

"I want you to trust me enough to talk with me instead of running away."

"I'm supposed to trust you after you say you are lying to me? How can I trust you after that?"

"I said I think I lied to me too."

"And that's supposed to make me feel better? You can't even be honest to yourself so I should trust you?"

"Look, if we're in a relationship we have to communicate. Do you want us to be in a relationship?"

"'If we're in a relationship'? 'Do I want us to be in a relationship'? I thought that was why we were here together. You aren't even sure about that?"

"YES! We are in a relationship. We love each other. I'm asking you why you aren't willing to work at it."

"I've never had to work at it before. All my affairs were on a long-as-it's-fun basis. When it stopped being fun for one of us it was over."

"So the fun is gone and you're leaving me?"

"I was having fun. You're the one who got all moody on me."

"I needed to talk -- and you walked out on me."

"YOU needed to talk, and you begin by telling me you've been lying to me? Don't make me the bad girl in this for wanting to be alone. How am I supposed to stay around when you tell me I can't trust you! I'm trying to be honest with you. I'll bet it's been five years since I said my real name out loud -- but you asked and I told you."

"Okay, I wasn't completely honest with you--"

"You said LIED."

"Yes, I said that. But we need communication if I'm going to regain your trust."

"That's easy for you to say. YOUR parents are the great communicators; they sit around the kitchen table and talk about anything. My parents kept things bottled up until they exploded at each other."

"How about communication in your own relationships?"

"Damn it Kim, I've never been in a serious relationship. I never felt anything like this in the affairs I've been in."

"You don't have experience! You are the first person I ever loved. The first person I ever had sex with. What experience am I supposed to draw on? The woman I love took a hike to be alone when I needed to talk about my feelings."

There was silence for a minute. "Maybe we need to go into Barnes & Noble and see if we can buy two copies of Relationships for Dummies."

They both stared out into the ocean until Shego finally broke the silence. "Okay, Kim," she asked softly. "What did you lie to me about? Was it the part about loving me? Was it the part about wanting to be with me? Can you not get over the fact I'm a mercenary and you're a hero?"

Kim stared at Shego, then grabbed her and held her tight. Shego resisted for a minute, struggling slightly, then relaxed in Kim's embrace. "None of those... None of those..." Kim whispered. "Months ago I said I could accept it if we don't have a future. I said I just wanted to enjoy being with you while we could... I think I lied. I want you in my future. And... and... sometimes I can't sleep, thinking about the fact they're going to put you away someday. I want us to stay together. God, sometimes I'm so scared for you... for us... I think it's making me crazy."

'That's what I want too, Princess. I want us to be together." Shego returned the embrace. They were both crying, and exchanging the salty kisses that had marked the first night they confessed their love to each other.

The rising tide eventually forced them back to the beachhouse. They held hands as they walked back and once in the bedroom slept clinging to each other.

Kim awoke alone the next morning and momentarily panicked. Had Shego left? She heard noise in the kitchen and investigated. Shego sat at the table, reading an English language newspaper and making occasional comments at the sturdy woman who appeared to ignore everything the pale woman said.

"Hey, pumpkin, welcome to the land of the living. Need an eye opener?"

Kim nodded.

"Itxel, a coffee for Miss Possible, por favor." The housekeeper set a cup of coffee in front of Kim, along with a cream pitcher and a sugar bowl stuffed with small packets of sweetening options. "Gracias."

Kim had hoped they would be work up an appetite before breakfast, but Shego seemed to have finished eating before Kim got to the kitchen. And she disappeared before Kim finished her own breakfast.

Back in the bedroom after breakfast Kim found her mission clothes laid out on the bed. as Shego adjusted her own black and green uniform.

"What's going on?" Kim demanded.

"Put on your clothes, Pumpkin, time for a sparring session. Let's see how badly out of shape this last semester left you."

"Please, Shego, after last night I really don't want to fight you."

"Wrong Princess, after last night you really want to fight me -- two good reasons. First, do you remember our first real kiss?"

Kim smiled, "I can't forget it... I'm sorry I hit you. But... I'm still confused."

Shego grinned, "I think we were communicating physically before we tried to talk with each other. Maybe we haven't done that in too long. It's a level we both know and we can accept each other as equals. We may have some leftover frustrations with each other from yesterday -- I think I'll feel better after I knock you on your ass."

"You're not thinking we're into domination, are you?"

"No, I don't want to really hurt you -- I love you. But part of the thrill is when we test each other. When we show how well we understand each other in combat I feel like we are communicating on some deep and basic level. Am I crazy?"

Kim thought for a minute. "No, you're not crazy. Maybe we do need this. But I sure hope that isn't the only level of communication you have planned for today."

"Oh, no it's not. Do you remember I said there were two reasons you wanted to fight with me this morning?"

"Yes."

"Second reason, winner's choice - best of three falls."

"Winner's choice?"

"Think about it for a minute."

Kim thought about it for minute. It was a long, intense battle. The frustrations melted away as they fought... Attack, defense, feint ... Shego finally knocked Kim down for one. As she helped Kim to her feet Kim's leg lashed out, almost catching and tripping Shego who only barely flipped out of the way.

"Dirty, Kim, trying to knock down your opponent when she's only trying to help you. I like that."

"I learned from a master."

Shego laughed and the battle continued. Not wanting to lose Kim redoubled her attacks on Shego, keeping the other woman constantly on the defensive until her superior strength gave Kim the victory.

Kim wisely didn't offer to help Shego back onto her feet. "Hey, Kim, can we take a break before round three? I could use a drink."

"Sounds good. Another of your strawberry daiquiris?"

"Yeah, but both virgins this morning. I don't want anything slowing me down for round three."

They sat side by side as they enjoyed their icy drinks. It was a beautiful day, they were each with the woman they loved, their frustrations seemed miles away and both were looking forward to the end of their sparring.

Round three promised to be much like the second round, Kim trying to overpower the older woman. Both were smiling and laughing as they fought. But even as Kim saw victory in her grasp an unexpected spin kick caught her in the ribs and put her down.

"You okay Kim?"

"You mostly damaged my pride."

"Oh, I'll kiss it and make it better. But remember, winner's choice."

In the early afternoon, back in the bedroom, sweaty from their workout and its aftermath, Kim lay in Shego's arms. "I'm going to beat you next time."

"Was losing all that bad?"

Kim giggled, "Not really."

"They say that when God created the world he called all the animals together. To some he gave strength, to some speed, to some cunning and to others patience. He gave out all the blessings until there were only two left. Then he realized he hadn't blessed Adam and Eve yet. He told Adam, 'You get your choice. The first blessing is to pee standing up.' And Adam said, 'I'll take it! Yes, I get to pee standing up! I'll be king of the world! I can write my name in the snow -- give it to me!' So God did. And Eve asked, 'What blessing is left.' And God told her, 'multiple orgasms.'"


	10. Auld Lang Syne

Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

**Auld Lang Syne**

They made love gently in the morning before Kim left, neither quite certain of when they could have as much freedom with the other as they had the last few days.

Before Kim entered the terminal she had a question. "Could you live here in Mexico? Could we stay here? They seem to like you -- you're safe here."

"Not safe, Kim. I guess they like me well enough, or at least the odd jobs I do. But they can only do it as long as they pretend they don't know who Medianoche Sombra is."

"Isn't that name silly? Don't people ask about it?"

"I say I had my name legally changed to my stage name -- then I ask them if they want to buy one of my CDs. It shuts people up real fast. Seriously, though, if the US files an extradition request the Mexican government won't fight it. If I'm lucky they'll ask for a couple days to look it over, then tip me off and let me run. If I stay too long on any trip I increase the odds against me."

"I wish there was a way."

"So do I."

"You'll be at the house tomorrow?"

"If there're no problems, I should be back in Middleton in plenty of time."

The Drs. Possible picked Kim up at the airport. They couldn't ask the question that was on their minds, to which they knew they would receive an answer they didn't want to hear. When Kim made the choice to spend Christmas in Mexico they realized they had to work even harder at accepting Shego, but it wasn't any easier.

Shego arrived back in Middleton the next day. Drakken was not there to pick her up, but the blue guy could be forgetful. She caught a cab and gave an address a couple blocks from the lair. She really needed to level with the Doctor. She planned to suggest Drakken declare another holiday truce. A couple times there had been a suspension of hostilities in the Christmas season. It might be the time to tell him she was sleeping with the enemy.

Sleeping with the enemy, God that sounded good to Shego. She was smiling for the entire ride and the three block walk over unshoveled sidewalks.

"Hey, Doc! I'm back. Did you miss me? I brought you a big bottle of real vanilla."

Her words echoed back. _"Damn, what's going on?"_ Both hovercraft were there. The hovercraft were not very practical in cold weather, however, and that was not cause for alarm in and of itself. Even the lab seemed clean and tidy -- definitely a sign of something wrong. There was an envelope on her end table with a short note. "Shego -- Here's what I owe you from last month and a Christmas bonus. Doing research, may be gone a couple months. -- Drakken."

Okay, something bad had happened. She didn't need letters down the left hand edge of the paper to spell out "Help me" to know something was wrong. It was never a Christmas bonus from Drakken -- it was always a holiday bonus. The fact there was enough cash in the envelope didn't help either -- It had almost become a running joke between them that she had to threaten him with bodily harm before she got her full salary.

"Hello, Mrs. Lipsky? ... Yes, your son's assistant... No, I just got into town, that's why I'm calling you. ... Really? ... Well, I don't think we need to be really worried, I'm just concerned because he wasn't here when I got back. ... Yes, I will have him call first thing when I see him. ... Good-bye."

Shego kept repeating to herself, "He just went on a little vacation of his own. He'll be back in a couple days. Everything is fine." She wanted very badly to believe that, and it was possible -- which allowed her to head to Kim's party.

Kim had arrived home in time to help get the house ready for the New Year's Eve party or parties -- it wasn't quite clear if the Possibles had one or three going on that evening. And with the amount of preparation that had to be done it made sense to invite a close friend or two over early to help. Kim answered the doorbell...

"Miss Possible, Kim, I seem to be early..."

"No Will, I needed a couple people to come early and help gets things set up. You've always seemed so nice I thought I'd take advantage of you. Can you come this way to the kitchen?"

"Monique, this is Will, he works at Global Justice-- Can I tell her that?"

"It appears that you already have."

"Oh, Will, this is Monique. We've been friends for years; she's really nice. Can you two slice up vegetables for tonight? Thanks. Bye."

They stared at Kim as she left for another room. "Ah, Monique? How would you assess Kim's behavior?"

"I don't want to say, what do you think?"

"I don't want to say either, which means we both are thinking the same thing."

"She's trying--"

"to set--"

"us up."

"She wasn't terribly subtle, was she? I've worked with her on some missions and have a high regard for her abilities. Therefore, I am wondering why she did it in such an obvious and clumsy fashion."

"Uh, Sherlock, before you get too analytical I've got to tell you that while Kim may think fast on a mission she isn't the sharpest knife in the drawer in social situations. There is a chance she thought she was being subtle."

"That is awkward. What do you propose?"

"Well, let's start by slicing up the veggies. Here's a peeler -- work on those."

"What are they? Turnips?"

"Jicama. Open your mouth." She gave him a slice from the pile she had prepared.

"There's not much flavor. Nice and crisp though."

"Yeah, no fat, and it doesn't mess up the flavor of the dip. Of course you still get lots of fat from the dip."

"But you get to pretend you're eating something healthy. But getting back to the immediate problem... I see three obvious approaches to the situation."

"And they would be?"

"Well, if we resent being set up we can pointedly ignore each other for the rest of the evening -- thereby telling her we would prefer not be treated in such a fashion. Or, we could try and make her happy by being seen together tonight, leading her to believe her plan was a success."

"That's two. You said you had three ideas."

"It was just an idea, I was thinking perhaps we could also try and find out why Kim thought it would be a good idea to introduce us."

"Tell you what, Mr. Bond--"

"The name is Du."

"Okay, Mr. Du, Will Du. I say we hang some and let Kim feel like she's done something nice. And I am curious why she wanted to introduce us. Any chance you could unbend just a little and sound like a human instead of an automated answering machine?"

Shego parked the hovercraft behind the garage, _"Stupid vehicle in the cold!"_ and walked around to the front door. Anne answered the bell.

"Hello." She took it as a good sign that Anne was wearing the earrings Kim had purchased for her in Mexico.

"Hello, Shego."

"Uh, Kim suggested I spend the night after the party. I don't know if she flew that one by you." Shego raised the hand holding her small Land's End duffel slightly to show she had luggage.

"She did. I know James and I promised to try and be accepting. It's just a little hard."

"I don't have to stay."

"No, that's all right," Anne sighed. "You don't need the guest room, you can stay with Kim. We're trying to adjust, but I'm just warning you, I'm not comfortable. Take your bag upstairs."

Shego found Kim changing clothes when she opened the door. "Can I watch, Princess?"

"Better, you can change too. Catch! It's a Christmas present from Monique."

As they went downstairs ten minutes later Shego realized they would not be helping Anne's comfort level. Monique had given them coordinated outfits -- Kim black stretch pants and dark green Club Banana cotton sweater, for Shego the colors were reversed, green pants, black top.

As the party got underway Shego demanded, "Kim, who's the stiff with Monique? He gets real tense whenever I talk to her."

"Uh, he's someone who knows who you really are."

"Oh, was he the guy in the Global Justice uniform when you tried to stop that one robbery? I warned you it was dangerous for me to come."

"Yes, that's him. You could wait in the room."

"And risk someone else giving you a New Year's kiss?"

The party was primarily for friends and co-workers of the Drs. Possible, with more hospital staff than research center staff there. Kim's friends from high school tended to stop by for a time as they cruised various parties to see old friends. Some new college friends stopped by also -- Ron and Monique had been told to invite any of their new friends. There were a number of foreign students who had not made it back to their home countries over semester break. All the high school cheerleaders were there at one time or another, except for Tara -- but no one had expected her to be out. Only Bonnie stayed on from the cheerleading crowd.

The research people tended to congregate in the television room, the hospital staff in the living room, and the college crowd and Will Du in the Rec Room, where the tweebs dominated their one small corner and the video games. The kitchen represented something of a no-man's land with everyone welcome to the food -- but the superior numbers of the hospital contingent gave them an edge and they threatened to convert it into a medical annex.

Shego felt ill at ease among all these strangers, but didn't want to cling to the few friends she had and ruin their evening. She spent much of her time being useful -- keeping _hors d'oeuvre_ trays full, collecting disposable champagne flutes, and making sure the coffee pot stayed fresh. She noted with approval that Anne had gone over to a locally produced French Roast. A couple times one Dr. Possible or the other would call her over and introduce her to people she would never see again as Kim's very good friend Sheila.

Down in the basement trouble brewed at the pool table like a pot of bad coffee. Kim and Ron had spent years in the Possible rec room, sharpening their skills.

"Come on, Kim," Monique complained. "He's hogging the table. He says he gets to play as long as he's the winner -- the rest of us can only challenge the winner. Beat him and give someone else a chance."

"Sorry, Monique, but I'm too busy to play."

"I believe I have the next game, perhaps I'll be able to defeat him."

"I doubt it Sherlock. You don't look like the eight-ball type, and Ron's good."

But not good enough. As Will sank the eight-ball Ron surrendered his cue. Will bowed to Monique and handed her his cue. "Who would you like to play?"

Bonnie laughed, "Let me try."

Ron racked, and the grudge match between Monique and Bonnie began.

"You're holding the cue all wrong." Ron told the brunette.

"Then show me how to hold it right, Stoppable."

Ron put his arm around Bonnie to demonstrate how to bridge your fingers properly. Bonnie giggled. Monique rolled her eyes. _"Men are so clueless."_

Felix and Justine arrived together, which Kim took as a good sign. They almost immediately went in different directions, which disappointed her. Justine joined a conversation with a group of scientists from Dr. Possible's research center. Felix joined the rec room crowd, and kept Ron and Kim too busy with stories of California for Ron to make another run at king of the pool table. Felix never mentioned Justine. Ron assumed that meant there was nothing to tell. Kim hoped it meant there was something to hide.

The two left together around eleven. Kim couldn't image a party at Justine's, and Felix's best friends were here. The two were either terminally dull or had something they wanted to do as a couple. She thought about Justine. She thought about Felix. She almost asked Shego to follow them and find out what was going on.

It was minutes short of midnight. Several television sets had been turned up to broadcast the ball dropping in New York. Kim couldn't find Shego. She had gone through the house twice and was starting to worry. Halfway through the third search two hands grabbed her from behind and dragged her into a closet.

"Gotcha, Princess. I don't think your Mom or Dad, or any of their friends, wants to see the New Year's kiss you're about to get."

When a broadly grinning Kim got back to the rec room Monique gave her a piercing look, "Uh, Kim, weren't you wearing the green top the last time I saw you?"

Ron appeared to be in too much of a state of shock to notice Kim's wardrobe malfunction. "Bonnie kissed me and wished me a Happy New Year. Can I borrow a New Testament, Kim, is that a sign of the apocalypse?"

After all the guests left Kim and Shego snuggled together in Kim's bed.

"Did you have fun at the party?"

"I always have fun with you pumpkin. Oh, I'm not sure your dad will ever speak to me again. I asked if your mother screams like you do when she cums."

"You didn't! You're teasing me, right? Don't do this to me!"


	11. The Game is Afoot

Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney.

**The Game is Afoot**

New Year's Day was a break for everyone. Kim and Shego slept in until ten, then helped Anne clean up from the party

Monique stopped by for a talk while they were cleaning, "Just me and Kim, Shego, I've got some words to say to her that are too strong for your shell green ears."

"Kim, before Monique takes you to the wood shed, please let me use the Kimmunicator, I really need to talk with the boy genius."

Wade answered the call almost immediately, "Shego? Is Kim okay?"

"She's fine, I think. She tried to set up Monique last night and they're having words. I need to ask a favor."

"You, asking me for a favor? I'm looking forward to turning you down."

"I'm serious."

"So am I."

"Look you're a good guy. You help people. I think someone has kidnapped Drakken."

"And how does that concern me?"

"Damn it, stop looking so smug. Some of the Dr.'s work could be really dangerous in the wrong hands--"

"And it's safe in his?"

"STOP FIGHTING ME! I NEED HELP! THIS IS SERIOUS!"

"Okay, what do you need?"

"I need you to come with me to the lair and see if you can find any clues."

"Uh, you know I don't like to leave my house. Can you borrow the Kimmunicator for a sweep of the place? Looking for clues is more of a job for police forensics."

"In reverse order, I don't want police going through Drakken's lab. The Kimmunicator isn't as good as the brain behind it -- and that's you. Finally, I know you don't like to leave your place. Kim thinks you've got agoraphobia. Ron thinks you're lazy. I think you want to stay tied to your link with Kim--"

"Okay, I'll come with you."

"I'll need to blindfold you when I take you to the lair."

"Would that be your lair on Wistful Vista, or the one in North Bend?"

"Fine, you don't need a blindfold. When can I pick you up? Any chance we could go over this evening?"

"No way, this is family time. Tomorrow morning is the earliest."

"Eight?"

"Nine."

Shego felt guilty she wasn't doing more to help Drakken, instead she was enjoying herself at the house of his greatest enemy. She worried it was somehow her fault. No one could have taken the Dr. if she had been there. Rationally she knew she had been on her own time -- she earned that vacation. And she was doing all she could in seeking help. But the rational explanations and irrational feelings of guilt were in conflict. The only compromise she could come up with was to enjoy her time with Kim and feel guilty about it at the same time.

During lunch -- which consisted of leftovers from the night before. Kim suddenly stopped, "You're forgetting something," she told Shego.

The older woman looked puzzled, "What am I forgetting?"

"We have a truce today."

Shego simply looked more confused.

"Last spring," Kim reminded her, "we were at C2K and talking about New Year's plans. We made a pinkie promise--"

Anne interrupted, "You made a pinkie promise?"

"I remember now," Shego said, "There was some sort of bet about which of us would have the hotter date."

"Exactly," Kim laughed.

"Well, since the two of you were together it would seem to me the bet would be off."

"I don't think so, Dad. We each had twenty bucks riding on this."

"Well, Princess," Shego asked, "how do you propose we settle this?"

Kim already had her cell phone out and hit a programmed number. "Hello, Ron? … Shego and I really need a big favor from you. … No, we need you come over here and decide which of us looks hottest. … I'm not kidding! Please, this is very important to us, you are settling a bet. … Half an hour would be great, bye."

"So, we have half an hour to get ready?" Shego asked. Kim nodded her head yes. "How are we going to do this? I didn't bring a lot of clothing with me. "

"You and Kim want to know who looks hotter?" Jim interrupted.

"You two can go to your room or go see the Delaneys. I don't approve of this bet your sister made and don't want you here."

Shego smiled, "I don't think it's going to be a contest."

Kim snorted, "We'll see about that. I say Ron in the family room for judging. Shego, do you want to dress in the den?"

"Okay, but I don't want you seeing me before the competition."

"That's fine. I don't want you seeing me either. I'll use the kitchen."

"Shego grinned, "I am so winning this bet."

"No way," Kim scoffed, "it's mine."

"Now, see here," James said, "I don't want you two doing… things to poor Ronald."

"Dad, I don't think it's going to be what you think."

Ron was on the Possible's doorstep twenty-three minutes after the call, visions of a half-naked Kim and Shego in his mind. What would the two of them be willing to do to convince him she was hotter. _"This is going to be so good,"_ he told himself. As he rang the doorbell another thought went through his mind,_ "This is going to be so bad,"_ he realized. If he said Shego was hotter he would hurt the feelings of his best friend in the world. If he said Kim was hotter he risked the plasma fury of an unstable woman with a short temper. _"I am dead."_

Anne answered the door before Ron had a chance to turn and run. "Come in," she invited. "Give me your coat. The girls said you should go into the TV room. Oh, before you go in there. I have to know, do you have a camera on you?"

He shook his head no.

"Does your cell phone take pictures?"

"Yeah."

She stuck out her hand. "Give it to me. They do not want you to take pictures of this competition."

Ron felt just a little better. He was going to die. But before he left this world he would have Kim and Shego in next to nothing trying to convince him she was the hotter of the two. We all have to die sometime. He could not imagine a better way to go.

Anne ushered him into the TV room. "They haven't seen each other," she told him. "Shego," she called, "are you ready?"

"I'm ready," she responded from the den.

"Kim?"

"Yes, Mom."

"Uh, Mrs. Dr. P? Are you going to stand here and watch this too?"

She smiled, "No, Ron. You're right. I think I'll leave you to your duty. Shego won the coin toss before you arrived. Call her in first."

Ron settled back into the chair. He allowed himself twenty seconds to fantasize what Shego might be wearing. Or might not be wearing. Could she go beyond the limits of his imagination? What would she do to prove how hot she was? "Shego, I'm ready."

The door to the den slid open and Shego stepped in, and Ron stared in amazement. "That's your costume for the contest?"

She nodded. Shego wore gardening overalls, apparently borrowed from Kim's dad. Grass stains covered the knees, and a large red handkerchief hung from a pocket. An over-sized, and equally disreputable, sweat shirt hid any figure that might have escaped the cover of the overalls. A moth-eaten straw hat held most of her hair, except for some wisps that hung down.

Ron continued to stare. "Going to say anything," she asked.

"Uh, Kim? Your turn."

The kitchen door swung open and Kim stepped into the room.

Shego fell on the floor laughing. Kim had borrowed her father's winter down outfit and stuffed it with newspapers until she looked like she weighed four hundred pounds. Her pigtails had been braided on wires that stuck out at grotesque angles.

Shego got up from the floor, went over and put her arm around where Kim's waist would normally have been, "Okay, Stoppable. Who is hotter?"

His eyes went back and forth, wondering what sort of nightmare he was in. Then Kim smiled, and revealed she had stuck raisins over some of her teeth so that her smile looked like she was missing teeth.

Ron hide his face in his hands, unwilling to gaze upon the horror. "Oh, God," he moaned. "Shego is hotter."

"Yes!" Kim shouted as she pumped her arms in the air and began a victory dance, "I win! I win! Twenty bucks, Shego!"

Ron looked blank, "Huh? I said Shego looked hotter. Kim? Why are you celebrating?"

He heard laughter from behind him and turned to see the Drs. Possible standing in the doorway and watching.

"They made a bet months ago over who would have the hotter date this New Years's Eve," James explained.

"So when you said Shego looked hotter," Anne continued. "It meant that Kim won the bet."

Ron still looked confused, "Shego and I will take you out to the mall for hot chocolate and we'll explain it slowly," Kim told him.

"Okay, I guess. But you can you two change? I don't want to be seen with you looking like that."

When they got back from the mall Kim and Shego took one out of three bridge games from the Drs. Possible. If Drakken hadn't been on Shego's mind they might have taken two.

Wade was impressed when he saw the Lair the next day. "I've never seen a place so clean. Do you think whoever took Drakken cleaned it up to hide evidence?"

"No, it was the Evil Lair Cleaning Service."

"You don't have to be sarcastic."

"I'm not. It's a subsidiary of Jack Hench Enterprises. The background check to get hired is tougher than working for the Department of Justice. Do you have any idea how jealous mad scientists get about people stealing their secrets? They should have been here last Thursday. That means Dr. D was taken before that."

"You're ruling out Jack Hench?"

"Drakken bounces the occasional check, but I can't see Hench closing his account."

Wade's fast sweep of the lair revealed no obvious clues left behind after the cleaning service. His second, more detailed sweep turned up so much microscopic evidence from so many identifiable and nameless individuals it was equally useless.

Unused to so much activity Wade sat down in a chair to rest.

"What now, Shego?"

"Well, before we start talking Drakken I want to know if I'm going to have trouble with you?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, am I the only person in the world who realizes that you wouldn't do the work you do for Kim -- the website, the secret weapons, the Kimmunicator -- as a hobby, that it's a labor of love?"

"You haven't told her, have you?"

"No, and I don't plan to. You were probably what, eleven or twelve when you first saw her little website? You thought she was cute -- but was never going to take a kid like you seriously. So you used your genius and made yourself indispensable. You took over the website and became the brains of Team Possible. That's how I read it."

"So what do you want?"

"First, I don't want you to sabotage me and Kim. You could do it, you have the brains."

"You really think so?"

"I know it. You're a genius, and Kim really trusts you and relies on you. She's the heart and soul of Team Possible, but you're the brains. It wouldn't be there without you."

"Thanks. What's Ron?"

"Stoppable? I'm tempted to say he's the left nostril. But he and that rat are seriously under-rated. I'm just not sure what body part to call him."

"Okay, Shego, I am jealous of you and Kim. But I just want her to be happy. You hurt her and there's no place you can hide."

"I don't want her to get hurt either. And I really want your help in trying to find Drakken. Please, Wade."

Without any evidence the two tried brainstorming ideas. Shego almost asked if he wanted a piece of paper for taking notes -- then decided his memory was probably better than her note taking skills.

"I think we can take Professor Dementor off the list of suspects, he seems to have no respect for Drakken."

"Uh, do you remember? You and Ron captured him a couple months ago. You said he'd probably blame Drakken."

"Ooops, I'm having a 'Doh!' moment. Still, I think Dementor would show his disdain for Drakken by just ignoring him -- but you're right, he's a suspect. And if he took the Doctor it's my fault. But I think we can take Duff Killigan off the list -- he and the Doc are almost buddies."

"It doesn't really fit the MO for Monkey Fist or DNAmy --"

"Yeah, but I'm not sure how stable Monkey Fist is. I'd put him down as a long shot. Oh, I think we need to give serious consideration to the Bebes. They've come back from the scrap yard a couple times and might want Drakken for an upgrade."

"Like the Daleks looking for Davros."

"What?"

"It's a Doctor reference."

"What does it have to do with Doctor D?"

"Another Doctor."

"Doctor who?"

"Exactly."

"Kid, if you tell me 'What's on second,' so help me, I'm going to punch you."

"Kim has fought some people who have probably never heard of Drakken, like Falsetto Jones --"

"I've heard of Jones, thinks he's a better thief than I--"

"Me."

"I! But I can't see him going for the Doctor. Oh, what is the last word on WEE? I heard Gemini basically went nuts and destroyed it himself. He was talking with his Chihuahua."

"Lot's of people talk to their pets."

"Yeah, but they don't all listen. He was in a room with rubber wallpaper the last I heard -- but check up on current status. If WEE was going to make a come back they might have some plan that called for Drakken's talents."

"Didn't Kim say that Drakken showed up at the end of the battle with your brothers against some enemy?"

"Aviarius. Yeah, put him high on your list to check out and see if he's still in prison. I'm wondering if it's someone from the past for me and Drakken. Can you check -- No, it isn't him or pieces of Drakken would be all over the lair -- and if you Google his name you fry your hard drive. It can't be Speed Queen -- she has no interest in Drakken. But remember that name if I ever go missing. I may be hanging up somewhere in velvet wrapped chains and a ball gag. They aren't kidding with that saying about a woman scorned."

"Isn't she supposed to one of the good guys?"

"Don't trust an angsty hero. Do you know what her teammates pay a month to keep her name out of the papers?  
"Oh God, they called themselves the Four Jacks. I know two of them died in a fire -- but make sure the other two are still in prison."

Shego's top suspects for kidnapping Drakken were Aviarius and the Bebes, with Professor Dementor and WEE having an outside chance and Monkey Fist representing a long shot. Wade had person or persons unknown as his most likely suspect, but agreed to check the names on Shego's list.

Wade found nothing in his initial search, "No one seems interested in the materials the Bebes used on their last two plots. Either they really are gone or the Doctor has modified their construction so much I'm not sure what to search for."

"How about other suspects, what's the word on Aviarius?"

"A giant mechanical flamingo broke him out of jail a year ago. We can't rule him out."

"Professor Dementor?"

"Was having a very good time in Monaco the last week in December. Can we rule him out?"

"Better not, he might have been providing himself with an alibi."

Wade could tell Shego was worried about Dementor. "I don't think it's him. He wouldn't be interested in using the Doctors' know-how. If it was Dementor he would have been sure to let you know he had Drakken to make you feel bad."

"Yeah, unless it's a trap-trap."

"A what?"

"It gets complicated. How about Gemini?"

"He strangled an orderly and escaped the asylum. He's so crazy I can't see the former WEE agents flocking to him in numbers big enough for WEE to be a threat."

"Did you check on the Jacks like I asked you to?"

"There's not much out there. The two who were in custody died in a prison riot almost three years ago."

"Did they use DNA testing to confirm identity?"

"What?"

"DID THEY CONFIRM IDENTITY WITH DNA!"

"Don't shout. How would I know? The news story didn't say."

"Doesn't matter. Unless they cut off their heads and stuffed the mouths with garlic, then buried them with wooden stakes through the heart I'm not sure I'll believe they're dead anyway."

"You're scaring me Shego."

"Just kidding Pointexter, just kidding. You know me. But, do me a favor and check for any unusual stories regarding large quantities of silver in the last three years, and any stories about the desecration of churches in the same time frame, okay?" _"And pray to God you don't find any."_

"There are a lot of faked photos of Speed Queen in the newsgroups... Is she really that hot?"

"You aren't supposed to be looking at porn, you're too young."

"C'mon Shego, I just see them when I'm doing research on villains."

"Sure, at alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.supers.fake... Say, any pictures of me out there?"

"Lots."

"Me and Speed Queen?"

"Some."

"How about me and Kim?"

"They started to appear about the time she turned eighteen."

"I'll make a deal with you kid, burn me a CD of the better ones and I won't tell your Momma where I got it."


	12. GreeneryYallery

Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

Parts of last chapter and much of this chapter ended up on the cutting room floor. They became so disjointed and rambling they had to be put out of your misery. And, unfortunately much of it was Kim & Shego -- what is what KiGo is supposed to be about. Bits had included:

•The start of second semester at Middleton U.

•Bonnie taking the gang out for karaoke night at Nathan's.

•Kim tries to convince Bonnie she should be allowed to borrow some of the new Club Banana outfits Bonnie earned by coaching Kim.

•Kim and Shego's first Valentine's Day together. What do you buy for the woman who steals everything? And should they be upset when Adrena Lynn attempts to out the happy couple?

•The 20th (read 19th) anniversary of the Drs. Possible.

•The burial of Rufus. The marker reads, "He saved the world a lot."

•A production of Patience by the Middleton Savoyards. Bonnie and Shego land decent parts -- although Bonnie fails to get the title role. Kim swings a hammer on stage crew. When tragedy strikes, in the form of a cold going around, Kim saves the day by running lights then heroically steps in as one of the twenty love-sick maidens.  
"Just promise us you won't sing."  
"Shego! I'm not that bad."

•Kim spends the occasional night at the lair. "NOT THAT SWITCH!"  
--whrrrrrrrrr--CLANG!--click--  
"This doesn't seem like much of a death trap."  
Shego sighed, "It's not. It's an inconvenience trap."  
"So, how do we get out?"  
"We wait for the person in the other room to throw the release switch."  
"Uh, Shego? There isn't anyone in the other room."  
"Well, duh, Princess."

•And the consumption of far too much coffee.

Title came from the Patience sequence.

**Greenery-Yallery, Grosvenor Gallery**

Shego's quest for Drakken cut into her Kim time, but her guilt drove her on. She actually set up a cot in the Load basement so she could crash after long sessions of looking for evidence.

Wade managed to locate the headquarters of Aviarius and Shego made a fast trip to Go City. The journey disappointed her, too many memories of family and no evidence for Drakken being held prisoner. On the positive side, however, Shego smiled as she thought about the next time Aviarius fired a talon gun at her brother and wondered which of the two would be more surprised.

Shego, Kim, and Ron did a fast reconnaissance through Professor Dementor's castle without finding any trace of the Doctor. Shego couldn't figure out how Ron managed to lose his pants. Kim assured her it happened a lot, but learning Ron regularly lost his pants when Kim was around didn't make Shego feel any better. At least he wore boxers instead of briefs.

Wade couldn't locate Monkey Fist, but Monty was better at laying low than any other villain Kim faced.

"I'm telling you, Wade," Shego said as she rested her eyes, "I'm convinced it is either the Bebes or WEE who want Drakken for his technical abilities."

"Don't limit your thinking, it could be some evil start-up that needs the blue guy."

"Maybe, but I don't know if an evil start-up could locate Drakken and get through the defenses of the lair."

"Kim always gets in your lairs easily."

"Yeah, and she has a lot more resources going for her."

"I'll take that as a compliment."

Shego's constant demands for web searches to find Drakken made her so annoying that Wade finally broke down and installed a terminal for her and taught her how to use it. Her skills as a thief lent themselves well to hacking, and with some of the software programs Wade had developed ("Strictly for gathering evidence of crimes!") she was soon expanding the sites she could investigate.

Shego felt like someone tied a knot in her stomach when she discovered rumors that Global Justice had the next version of the Cage ready for her next capture. Unfortunately there were no schematics posted on the web -- she had no way of knowing what she was going to face.

Shego repaid Wade's hospitality by putting him on a diet and exercise program. Wade was less than pleased, but it delighted his momma, who moved Shego from the basement into a guest room. "Stay as long as you want, dear."

In the first month Wade lost fifteen pounds... twenty pounds of fat actually, but he'd picked up five pounds of muscle in the process.

"You're never going to be tall and thin, but you're going to look like a football player when I'm done with you."

"I'm not sure it's worth it."

"Oh, it will be worth it. And when you get that battery you designed for the Kimmunicator worked out to where it can be mass produced for a reasonable cost you are going to be a multi-millionaire. Good looking guy, rich, you can have any girl you want."

"No, not the one girl I want."

"Well, okay, not her. Tell you what -- you turn into a beefy hunk with millions of dollars and you can have me -- then you get Kim by default."

"I really don't want to be teased about that."

"Sorry, Wade."

Several days later Kim used her Kimmunicator to call for assistance, "Hey, Wade, I need... Okay, where's Wade?"

"Sorry Miss Possible, Mr Load is currently enduring severe physical torture at the hands of our highly trained and dedicated staff of professionals. Can I help you?"

"Cut it out, Shego. Where is he and what are you doing there?"

"I've got him on an elliptical trainer -- he claims it's torture. I'm doing research. What do you need?"

"I was, uh, having trouble with a chemistry problem and wondered--"

"You're cheating, aren't you Kim?"

"I'm not cheating. There is nothing wrong with asking for help in understanding the question. I wasn't going to ask for the answer or anything."

"Okay, Kim, I'll let you talk to him this time -- just don't make me report you to the theater major.

And Kim wanted to know what was happening with another friend. "I haven't been seeing much of you, Monique."

"Well, you know... Work and school."

"A couple times when I called your house your Mom said you've been out with someone. Are you still seeing Will?"

"We're not seeing each other. I'm just trying to help the boy -- you know, he's sort of a charity case. I'm doing some girl a favor."

"How so?"

"I tell you, chronologically he's only a little older than we are, but psychologically he's a fossil. I asked him to a party and he wore a suit and tie! I don't know if I can ever show my face there again. He opens doors for me, it's embarrassing. And do you want to guess where he has picked for dates?"

"I'm guessing no X-games or professional wrestling."

"A symphony and the opera."

"You poor dear."

"Actually, the opera was better than I thought. It was Aida. The symphony... I tell you GF, I was the best thing happening that night; I was turning heads in my red dress. Will looks good in a tux, but everyone thought he was part of the orchestra."

"No sparks between the two of you?"

"Kim, I've got no interest in a mixed relationship."

"That's awfully narrow-minded of you," Kim teased.

"Seriously, there is no future there. I'm AME and he's Presbyterian."

Kim still awoke with the occasional dirty sock in her mouth, and twice her sheets were only laundered after Bonnie literally screamed at her, but Kim stayed ahead on class work this semester. She thought she might have a chance for straight A's.

Ron's mother gave Kim and Shego each a hug as they arrived for the Seder. There were probably almost thirty people there -- Stoppable relatives, Jewish friends from the synagogue, and Shego and the shiksa (who was no stranger to the Stoppable Seders). The two women used hair pins to put the yarmulkes on each other.

"Ron says your grandmother was one of the lost children," Ron's Dad said.

"That was what Ron says. I'm not sure how much she really thinks about her birth parents -- it's always the people who raised her she talks about as family."

"Do you know her birth name?"

"I'm sure I've heard it, but I can't remember. Why?"

"You might have relatives you've never even heard of."

"I don't know if I want to look up any relatives I've never heard of. I don't exactly get along with the family I have."

"You might want to do it for them -- they might want to know that some part of their family made it out of the war. Is your grandmother still alive?"

"Oh, yes."

"Then you need to give her a call."

Shego looked uncomfortable with the idea. "Could I call her for you?" Kim asked.

Part way through the service Ron mom requeted, "Shego, this portion of the Seder is usually given to the youngest person present, but this is your first Seder and I'd like for you to have it. Just read the English version from the Haggadah."

"Why is it that on all other nights during the year we eat either bread or matzah, but on this night we eat only matzah?  
"Why is it that on all other nights we eat all kinds of herbs, but on this night we only eat bitter herbs?  
"Why is it that on all other nights we do not dip our herbs even once, but on this night we dip them twice?" and  
"Why is it that on all other nights we eat either sitting or reclining, but on this night we eat in a reclining position?"

For those who have attended many Seders there are parts that can seem to drag. Since this was her first Seder Shego found the whole story of redemption fascinating. "Mrs Stoppable, I read something about the Seder before I came, so I'd have some idea what I was doing. But I have to ask you, why is there an orange on your Seder plate? That definitely wasn't on the list of items I read about."

Everyone around the tables smiled.

"Well, the story goes that years ago a woman asked her Rabbi why women were not called to read from the Torah. The Rabbi told her, 'A woman belongs on the bema like an orange belongs on a Seder plate.'"

It was almost one in the morning as Shego and Kim left, they had stayed late to talk with Ron and his parents.

"We really should ask Shego to Yom Hashoah services with us."

"I don't think she's ready for that, Mom."

"They're for her."

"Uh, Mrs. Stoppable, what are you talking about?"

"It is a commemoration of your great-grandparents, and the millions of others who didn't survive the war."

Shego appeared thoughtful as she drove Kim back to the lair for the night. The Seder had given her a lot to think about.

Three days later Shego sat staring at the computer monitor, _"Damn, damn, damn, damn!"_ It didn't tell her much, but she was convinced it was her first hard evidence related to Drakken since he disappeared. Yet she didn't like what she was seeing. Stock prices had gone up for a small company that manufactured bio-electrical parts for prosthetic devices. They were experiencing record sales, but Shego didn't see any large sales to the defense department -- this had nothing to do with the wars going on in Iraq and Afghanistan. She recognized them as a major component in Drakken's neuro-compliance chips -- mind control. Chills went down her spine as looked at the sales figures, _"I really fucking hate fucking mind control."_ There were enough components being manufactured for hundreds, maybe thousands of mind chips.

She took a deep breath. Just maybe some prosthetic company was using the bio-electrical chips for what they were intended. Of course, if that were true it should be easy to verify where they were sold. The sales invoices listed the buyer as 'An Arm and a Leg, Inc.' which sounded promising. Except that she could find no evidence that a company with that name even existed. The parts had been shipped to a PO box in Delaware. The only thing that told her was that she could count on Delaware not being the state where Drakken was held. _"I'm really going to need your help, Wade."_

Kim returned from class one day to find a distraught Bonnie, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Then why is the wastebasket half-filled with tissues and your eyes red?"

"I can't be back in the dorm next year."

"What happened?"

"Tight budget in the theater department. Everyone who has a home within ten miles of campus is losing the housing stipend on their scholarship. Money's tight with two of us in college and one in grad school, there's no way my folks are going to spring for the dorm. I'm back in Hell house." She reached for another tissue.

"And I was going to ask if we could be roomies again."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I mean, we don't really like each other and your OCD gets on my nerves -- but I know your system and now I'll have to figure out someone else's craziness."

Bonnie gave her a half-hearted smile. "I might have taken you up on the offer. It took me so long to train you properly, and now someone else gets the benefit. Sometimes we almost had fun."

"I really am sorry. I wish there was something I could do to help. Want to go over the C2K? I'll buy you a cinnamon roll and a cup of chai and give you a shoulder to cry on."

"Thanks, maybe later. I may have to promote you from worst friend to mediocre friend."

"Nah, why spoil a bad thing?" Kim replied.

Bonnie tried to smile, but broke down and started crying again. Kim held Bonnie, letting her roommate sob on her shoulder. At the moment Bonnie didn't care who Kim loved, all that mattered was her need for a friend. Kim patted her softly on her back, "I'm sorry, I really am."

In an office in the modern languages building a voice spoke from the shadows, "You know, if I wanted to, I could really hurt you."

Dr. Kemal jerked around, startled as the pale woman in the black and green catsuit spoke.

"Take it as a sign of my good faith that you're healthy," she added.

Mustapha decided to accept her word on that. He doubted if he could have reached a weapon or sent out a distress call without her stopping him anyway.

"Is it about Miss Possible?"

"No. I need to give Global Justice a warning, and thought I'd pass the message through you."

"I'm just a translator, you know."

"Don't give me that 'just a translator' crap. It was your report that got them on my tail last year, wasn't it? I'm not looking for revenge. I'm just saying they read your reports. Drakken has been kidnapped. I don't know by who. But he's being forced to make mind-control chips. I don't know what the plan is--"

"You really do not know very much, do you?"

"I know Drakken is not behind this. It's not his style. But his neuro-compliance chips are dangerous. Enough components have been purchased or stolen for hundreds. I don't want him blamed. And Global Justice needs to find out who's behind it and save the Doctor."

"I wish you had more details. But if what you say is correct Global Justice needs to be warned. Saving Drakken is not our highest priority, but it seems that you and I are again on the same side -- as we were for Kim last semester."

Shego nodded and prepared to leave, then paused, "One question... Is the Cage ready?"

"I am not allowed to say anything to you on such a topic... But, you should find a new coffee shop."

He assumed she heard. The pale woman had disappeared from his office as silently as she had appeared.

Dr. Kemal waited for the fourth green light on his personal fax to go off. Report encrypted, transmission sent, transmission decoded. Report printed. He even waited a minute to see the fifth light, acknowledgment by a human being who had picked the report up and sent back confirmation it was legible. Shego's report was important.

That was also the opinion of the agent who picked up the fax at Global Justice headquarters and read it. His eyes went slightly out of focus as he finished reading it, then a slight whirring noise filled the room as the shredder destroyed the document. Agent Preston looked around the fax room. He was certain he had heard a document printing, yet none of the fax machines had any pages in their document trays. He must have been imagining things.


	13. The Thunderbolt Path

Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney.

This chapter is something of a change-up, an experiment in trying to create a different tone. Yes, some places you can't tell who is speaking. Some places it doesn't matter.

**The Thunderbolt Path**

The computer on Kim's desk turned itself on. "Kim, are you there?"

"Damn," Kim crawled out of bed, pulled on a t-shirt and turned on the web-cam. "Yes, Wade, I'm here. What do you need?"

"I need to talk with Shego. Do you know where she is?"

Kim grinned, "I think so." She looked over her shoulder and called, "Put on some clothes -- it's for you. Wade, let me put a tissue over the webcam for a minute."

"You never let me have any fun."

"Never let you have any fun? You deleted that from your hard drive, didn't you?"

Wade ignored her, "Where's Bonnie?"

"She had a late rehearsal, promised us she wouldn't be back until eleven-thirty."

Shego pulled the tissue off the web-cam. "Wade, Got news on Drakken?"

"Nothing that good. Got some information you really don't want to hear. Maybe you and Kim need to change your plans for Spring Break."

A little more than a week later a small crowd surrounded three ragged figures as they waited at the Beijing airport.

"-- You must continue to take the antibiotics until you finish the bottle."

"I can promise that," Ron assured the doctor.

The American ambassador addressed Ron and Kim, Shego had her Mexican passport and tried hard to stay out of the picture when photographers snapped shots of the other two -- not that anyone could have recognized her. "We contacted your parents, everyone knows you're safe."

A man they guessed represented the Communist Party had a message also, "On behalf of the government of China we would like to thank the three of you for bringing Dr. Su back. You realize, of course, that you will never be allowed back in China."

_"And after this last week we sure as hell wouldn't want to come back,"_ Shego thought.

The Kimmunicator beeped faintly before they boarded the plane.

"KIM! Thank God! It was on the news they found you -- I haven't heard from you in a week."

"There are some places the Kimmunicator won't reach -- and it appears the Roof of the World is one of them. Battery low, poor signal. We'll talk once we get back to the US."

She looked at the other two, "And maybe by then we can decide what we are going to tell them."

Ron asked the cabin attendant for three pillows when they got on the plane -- he might need one for his head.

Kim sat in the center, with Ron on her left and the shadow of Shego seated by the window. "Okay, the Chinese government didn't buy our story -- "

"Would you? I mean, we come down from the mountains carrying their leading ethno-anthropologist, who has gone completely Fruit Loops, and say 'Oh, on the other side of the world we heard her expedition was in trouble and came to help out.' They hadn't told the world her expedition was missing. They didn't even know she was in trouble. And when they ask, 'What happened to the rest of her party?' we say, 'Gee, we didn't see anyone else.'"

"Do you want to tell them we watched them being eaten?"

The other two shook their heads. "And, Kim, can you drop the subject while I'm eating." They'd purchased every candy bar they could find in the Beijing airport and Shego was on her seventh. "Okay, that's three votes for not saying what happened to the expedition. Second question, do we tell anyone about the hairy men?"

"Without the Jack the hairy men are mostly harmless--"

"Mostly harmless? Weren't you listening to Dr. Su? According to Tibetan folklore the Yama chops off your head, sucks out your brains and drinks your blood while he's eating you."

"Yeah, but she didn't KNOW that the Yama and hairy men -- "

"I have to agree with Ron, Princess. I don't know if the gShin rje, The Lord of Death, was based on some collective memory of those things or not. Let's say they're unrelated completely. Those things still weren't harmless."

"Yes, but do you want to see them hunted to extinction?"

"Sorry, KP, I'm usually pro-ecology. Hug a tree and all that. But I could live with them being hunted."

"Then how about the fact any hunter who tries to get to the temple has a better chance of dying of exposure than getting a pelt? I say we forget about it."

"Not likely I'm going to be forgetting about it."

"Okay, Ron. I mean I don't think we should tell anyone about what really happened."

The vote was again unanimous.

"Shego... He, It knew you. Is that really the end?"

"I hope so Kim, I wish I could know. I've seen three of them go up in flames now -- purified by fire. The fourth one is supposed to be dead, but the one you saw was supposed to have died with him. I should have guessed he might come back to Asia. Drakken thought they started somewhere in South Asia."

"That's funny, he didn't look Asian."

"That's funny coming from you Stoppable, but Drakken guessed they had probably been British soldiers on one of their failed attempts to take over Afghanistan."

"What do you think the chances are for Dr. Su, I mean realistically."

"I've got no idea. When she made sense she told us she needed that Rinchen rilpo stuff. But will the Chinese take the request seriously? If they take it seriously will they ask the Indian government for help -- I can't remember whether they're speaking these days. And even if India and China are getting along I can't see the Tibetan Medical and Astrological Institute at Dharamsala helping the Chinese."

"How deep do you think she got into the temple?"

"I don't know. Further than we did. Maybe if we'd gone deeper we'd have ended up like that."

It wasn't a reassuring thought.

The cabin attendant came by with blankets. Ron took one for himself. Kim took two, and wrapped them both around Shego, then held her arms around the thin woman as she started another candy bar.

"At least the two of you kept warm those first couple nights."

"Will you listen to this ingrate!" Shego snorted. "I unselfishly give him my sleeping bag so that he can have two, and he complains that the two of shivering together in that little sleeping bag, designed for one, had it better than him."

"Maybe we could have asked him to join us?"

None of them wanted to talk about their mission, but none of them could think of anything else.

"Can you imagine if Monkey Fist heard about those guys?"

"They weren't monkeys Ron, you know that."

"Hey, Stoppable, at least you know what they mean about ripping you a new one."

"Not funny, Shego. I'm going to be sleeping on my stomach for awhile."

"Or maybe on someone else's stomach? You want to tell us why you're really getting off in Japan?"

"Kim, make her shut up, please."

As they circled the Tokyo airport Kim spoke with Ron, " "Will you be okay? What if you need to talk about it?"

"Actually, I will tell Sensei about it, he'll decide if the information needs to go in the Yamanuchi annals. I may check to see if there is anything about the hairy men there already." Ron's carelessness made Kim glance over at Shego. "Not telling any secrets Kim, she knows where I went last summer."

Before leaving the plane Ron promised, "I'll head home in a couple days. I think classes can start fine without me."

"It's a bad habit to get into," Kim warned.

"Ah, maybe I could get Bonnie to coach me."

"I'll bet she would, Stoppable." Shego laughed, "I think she'd enjoy it."

Ron turned slightly pink and headed for the exit.

"Stay here Shego, I'm going into the terminal to see if I can get you some more snacks and candy bars during the layover."

Shego ate three packages of dried squid, two spicy octopus treats, and four more candy bars before falling asleep over the Pacific.

Kim held the sleeping Shego in her arms, periodically pressing her cheek to Shego's forehead, reassuring herself the heat was really gone.

Shego woke up about an hour before California. The rustle of paper as she looked for any remaining candy bars or spicy octopus woke up Kim.

"Are you going to be okay?"

"Thanks to you. I can't believe you beat three of them. You are incredible."

"Well, the one was hurting you. How's your arm?"

"A whole lot better than Stoppable's ass. The arm should be fine in a couple days and eventually I won't look like a famine victim. He's going to have a lifetime of explaining when people see that scar."

"Not that many people should be seeing it."

"Yeah, but what's the name of his girlfriend?"

"Yori."

"She'll see it I bet.

"Uh, Shego. Don't give me any credit. None of us would have made it back without you. Have you ever kept your plasma flame going that long before?"

"Never. God, I'll bet I lost ten pounds."

"It's more like thirty."

"The old 'If I catch you, I can have you diet.'"

"What?"

"Nasty, racist, homophobic joke."

"Okay, skip it. Seriously, you've been eating since we got out and you still look anorexic. I'm afraid if I try and hug you I could break you. No more no-fat lattes until you're back to your old self. You have to order double-doubles."

"Hey, while we're patting each other on the back, let's not forget Stoppable. He took the rear getting out of there. God, I was running for my life -- I couldn't have volunteered to get out last. And where did he get the strength to carry out Dr. Su -- especially with the pain he was in? And how far did he have to carry her? I don't even remember the trip down, I was weak as a kitten and you had all the gear. I swear, that boy has to have a pack mule somewhere on his family tree."

"Ron's really quit a guy."

Shego thought for a minute, then laughed "It just hit me, Ron Stoppable is Archie."

"The comic book character?"

"Yeah, goofball boy with two cute girls running after him. I assume this Yori is cute."

"Definitely!"

"You didn't have to say it so fast, I could get jealous."

"You think Bonnie is really serious about Ron?"

"Oh, I don't know how serious, but she's interested."

"She doesn't have a chance."

"Well, I don't know Yori -- but my money is on Bonnie."

"Sorry, Shego. Ron is loyal."

"So's a Labrador Retriever. But a girl friend half a world away and a cute girl with the hots for you close to home? He's a guy. Bonnie will get him."

"Not all guys are jerks."

"Yeah, some are gay. In Finian's Rainbow, it's a play, this big leprechaun--"

"A _big_ leprechaun?"

"Work with me, Kim. Anyway, his best song is 'When I'm Not Near the Girl I Love, I Love the Girl I'm Near.' Is Yori a nice girl?"

"I think so."

"She's a Betty. Nice girls get walked on."

"Bonnie is sure a Veronica -- doesn't have the money, but she's not a nice girl."

"You're just standing up for Yori because you're a Betty."

"And you're a Veronica... Hey, Shego, here's something you don't see in the comic books," and she leaned over and kissed her lover.

The two got onto a domestic flight in LA. Shego stared down at the peaks and valleys of the Rockies as they flew over.

"Do you think there any hairy men in America?"

"Did you have to ask that question? I don't think I'll ever go skiing in Colorado again."

"Kim, can we be together tonight? Just sleep. If the nightmares come back I want you there to hold me."

"Me too."

The Drs. Possible and the tweebs were waiting in the Middleton airport.

James Possible gave his daughter a big hug. Anne stared at Shego with a look of horror. "My God, what happened to you?"

Kim answered, "She saved my life, Mom, Ron's too. Those last three days... She burned herself up for us."

"We're getting you to the hospital. Now."

"Please, Anne, can we stop somewhere and eat first?"

"Okay, where do you want to go?"

"Any all-you-can-eat buffet, or the House of Large Portions."

Old Country Buffet lost money on Shego that evening. She protested she just wanted to sleep, but Anne insisted they stop at the hospital and check her over. Other than the dramatic weight loss and a slight sprain Shego appeared relatively healthy.

"I want her to stay with me tonight. I want her in my room."

"No problem, Kim. Actually, Shego, I'd like you to stay with us for awhile. Until you regain some weight and strength. You need a doctor's supervision."

"Really Mom? Will that be okay Shego?"

Shego nodded sleepily.

"Mom, we're sleeping with the light on tonight."

"That's okay Kim. Your dad and I won't be coming in to check on you. You're an adult."

"No Mom, you don't understand. We want to sleep with the lights on. Please don't turn them off."


	14. Occurance at Owl Creek Bridge

Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney. Celebrities represent fair game.

**An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge**

Betty Director chose not to read the final report that Will Du left for her. Her brother's madness always disturbed her. The early parts of the story she didn't need to know. The later parts she knew only too well.

While some imagine the insanity plea is used more often than it should be, and there may indeed be times when the defense is abused, more often those with real mental problems do not have their illness recognized by the court. Gemini's madness could not be overlooked or ignored. His own actions had destroyed the top ranks of WEE, making it relatively easy for Kim, Ron, and a small group of Global Justice agents to bring down what had once been the most technologically advanced terrorist group in the world. Without Pepé, Gemini had appeared a broken man. Almost unresponsive and totally docile the watch over him in the psyche ward had diminished slightly over time.

Months after his committal he began to hear noises at night. Only gradually did he recognize the voice of Pepé speaking to him, calling him to revive WEE. The orderly should not have been in Gemini's room by himself. It was a breach of procedure. Pepé said he must be punished.

The next few weeks were especially hard, on the run and searching for Pepé. Gemini finally located Pepé in an alley. He looked different, but Pepé was smart, he had disguised himself so he would not be captured. Pepé bit Gemini repeatedly, punishing him for taking so long to find him, then Pepé revealed his new plan.

Not everyone in WEE had been in the headquarters when Global Justice moved against them. Small WEE cells existed in different cities and countries around the world. Gemini knew where they were, but few responded to his calls. Some had been captured from evidence discovered by Global Justice. Some had ceased to operate, or joined other criminal groups, or simply refused to deal with Gemini. Pepé assured him the loyal few who answered the call would be rewarded, and the traitors punished when WEE revived. But first, Pepé told Gemini, they needed to secure the aid of a man named Drakken.

Pepé was unhappy with Gemini. He had missed optimum pain. A little pain could make a reluctant man work a little faster. A little more pain could make him work even faster. More pain, more work -- until the optimum level was reached. At that point more pain only decreased the amount of work a person could do. Gemini far exceeded the optimal level with Drakken

The infiltration of Global Justice went slowly. Drakken could not produce the neuro-compliance chips as fast as Gemini would like. But Pepé told him to be patient. They had plenty of time. For the most part the Global Justice agents they chipped were told to behave normally -- except they would destroy any references to Drakken or WEE that might appear in reports. They also called in to WEE daily for additional orders and to give reports.

When the number of mind-controlled Global Justice agents hit a couple dozen, with a dozen more chips prepared Gemini ordered phase two. Half the controlled agents put neuro-compliance chips on the team in the Global Justice research lab. The other half found a way to smuggle Drakken into the lab. Now chips could be produced at a speed which would soon stockpile enough chips for phase three, the complete takeover of Global Justice. All its technology, all its secrets, all its agents -- willing to die on his order -- would be the foundation for a new and stronger WEE.

As Agent Duncan went through security for her night shift at Global Justice headquarters a small chip was pressed onto the back of her neck, held in place with a powerful adhesive.

A voice spoke in her head "They think you're wearing a mind control chip. Play along or they'll kill you. My name is Drakken. Find Shego. There are two other fake chips, they vibrate when you are close to another one. Get help. Message repeats."

Agent Duncan decided to play along. As she passed through security two men in red uniforms were issuing orders. "Go about your normal business for now. You will only listen to the men in red, and above all you will listen to Gemini."

_"Shit. This is not good."_ Drakken's message seemed to repeat about every three minutes. Duncan grabbed some folders and wandered through the building -- she could claim this was her normal business if asked. She had covered most of the building when she felt a vibration at the back of her neck. There were several Global Justice agents present, and one man in red. She scanned the Global Justice agents, and saw Will Du give her a wink. She took a deep breath and walked in the office of the acting associate director.

"You vibrate?"

"Yeah, you too?"

He shook his head. "If Drakken was telling the truth there is one more of us -- or maybe that chip hasn't been used yet. We have to get word out. In six and a half hours a new shift reports for duty -- and I figure they will all be chipped. You have to leave."

"How do I do that? Aren't they watching all the exits?"

"I assume so. I haven't checked. Walk out openly, tell them Gemini ordered you to go and buy dog food -- no one will argue."

"Gemini got his Chihuahua back?"

Du shuddered, "No, he's carrying around the largest rat I've ever seen -- and he keeps calling it Pepé and talking with it."

"What are you going to do?"

"I'm going to see if there is anything I can do on the inside to cause problems for Gemini."

**T-minus 6 hours**

One of the red-clad agents stopped Agent Duncan, but accepted the excuse Will Du had offered her. She breathed a sigh of relief when it worked. The WEE agent also breathed a sigh of relief -- Gemini was so irrational he could have gotten on the intercom and ordered everyone in the building to go buy dog food.

Du had told her not to use a cell phone, it wasn't clear what Global Justice monitoring equipment might be in use. It had taken her half an hour to leave the building and drive to where she could find an honest land line. She said a little prayer that the number Will had given her was as secure as it was supposed to be. It was answered on the third ring.

"Dr. Director, we have a serious problem..."

**T-minus 5.5 hours**

Kim was almost home, Betty Director would arrive there in minutes. Her parents and Shego were awake, and Anne had started a pot of coffee. The tweebs had been awakened by the noise and no one wasted breath telling them to go back to bed.

As soon as Kim got in the door she got on the phone to Ron, the frantic call that disturbed her and Bonnie hadn't given her time to think. In the drive from campus she had awakened enough to remember Ron and knew he would be needed.

Dr. Director didn't bother knocking. When the helicopter sat down she ducked low and ran to the Possible house.

"What happened to you?" she demanded when she saw Shego.

"You should have seen me two weeks ago. Believe it or not I'm looking a lot better."

**T-minus 5.25 hours.**

A flushed Betty Director told what little she knew. "Gemini has used mind control chips to try and take over Global Justice. He was working with Dr. Drakken, but Drakken has sold him out--"

"That's not true. Didn't you read the report I had Dr. Kemal send you weeks ago -- warning you that someone was forcing Drakken to manufacture neuro-compliance chips?"

"I didn't see any report."

"Then either Kemal has been chipped -- or Gemini had already infiltrated your headquarters."

Neither was a pleasant thought. Betty Director preferred to believe Shego was lying -- but the message from Drakken said to contact Shego. "Look, the message on the two fake chips was to contact you. Drakken seemed to think you know what to do. What do you know about the mind control chips?"

Shego thought for a minute. Her technological skills weren't that good. She had fallen victim to the chips when Drakken used them before... the victory belonged to... "JIM! TIM! What did you do when you beat Drakken's mind control device a couple years ago?"

Startled to be included in the conversation there was a pause before one of them said, "We had been working on a portable silicon phase disrupter -- it disrupts the bio-electrical chips." The twins suddenly found a space open for them at the adult table.

"Portable... Meaning small -- could you make a large silicon phase disrupter, something large enough to cover a city block, for example."

"I guess, but"

"it would take a lot of power"

"you'd need the whole US power grid"

"for that much coverage and to penetrate walls."

"Your portable version... How much power did it require? What was the range?"

"Uh, I think it was good for about twenty feet"

"We were using the Kimmunicator battery."

Betty Director looked at Kim, "Our friend, Wade, invented it. It's amazingly powerful, but still too expensive for commercial production."

"How many might he have?"

"I don't know, let me get him in on this," Kim turned on the Kimmunicator.

Shego spoke up, "Your best hope is the twin's portable disrupters. You need several, and power supplied for them. Jim, Tim, do you still have your disrupter around?"

"No, we broke it up for parts."

"Could you make more if you had a lab to work with?"

"I suppose--"

"For sure."

**T-minus 5 hours**

"I'm taking the boys to Drakken's lair. Kim, the keys to Herbie." She caught the keys Kim tossed in mid-air. "Boys, get in the car. Dr. Director -- call Middleton's finest and tell them not to stop or follow a white Volkswagen Beetle. Hopefully there will be parts and time for a half dozen disrupters. Someone needs to figure out the power supply problem -- and Director, you need to locate any agents you think you can trust. My instinct is to trust Kemal, but it's your call."

**T-minus 4.75 hours**

Shego didn't know the Volkswagen could move that fast. She didn't blindfold the twins. Besides the fact they were driving at night they'd kept their eyes closed much of the trip -- afraid to look at how she drove. Kim was going to be mad about those two fenders -- but Global Justice should pay for the repairs.

"Jim, Tim, tools in here. Parts over here. You tell me what you need, let me get it for you."

Back at the Possible house Ron had arrived and was being filled in.

**T-minus 4.5 hours**

Shego linked the computer in the lair to Wade's Team Possible site.

"Whoa, smooth Shego, you set that link up yourself."

"Yeah, compliments later -- I had a good teacher. I've got the tweebs started. What's the word on power supply?"

"I don't have enough Kimmunicator batteries for the job they need done. The silicon phase disrupters take a lot of juice. Kim says they have some really huge battery packs at the research lab and is on her way over there with Dr. Director and her dad."

"Oh, tell Betty I'm going to have to break into... No, you tell her that we couldn't make any disrupters because we were missing a part and I knew Global Justice wouldn't want me to break into Transistor World to find what we needed. Tape what she says, I want to hear it."

"Where will you be, couldn't you just listen in?"

"No time, Wade, I'm on my way to Transistor World to steal what we need. By the time she found a manager and explained the problem it would be too late."

**T-minus 3.75 hours**

Shego was back at the lair with the parts the twins required. A routine little break-in left her exhausted.

**T-minus 3 hours**

Wade served as communication hub for the operation, "How are Jim and Tim doing?"

"They've got three almost finished and are about to start on two more. How much time do we have?"

"Dr. Director says she needs to leave Middlton in two hours. It's going to take time to get to the Global Justice, and she needs to start the mission before the morning shift arrives to punch in."

"Damn, I hope the twins get those two finished -- we need time to work them in with the power supply."

"You can probably do that on the flight."

"How is the power supply problem coming?"

"They have a half dozen of the big battery packs -- sounds like more than you'll have disrupters for. They're hard to hide. Dr. Director plans to have the initial team go in with the disrupters using Kimmunicator batteries. After taking the security entrance it will be easy to bring in the big packs."

"Oh, you'll have to tell Kim's parents some awful news -- the boys are having a wonderful time in the lab. They want to be mad scientists when they grow up."

"I think their folks already know."

**T-minus 2.5 hours**

Shego fired up the hovercraft and took out one of the disrupters -- Betty Director wanted to test it out with a Kimmunicator battery on Mustapha Kemal. The head of Global Justice swore a blue streak at Shego for breaking in to Transistor World.

Shego just smiled, "You want me to take the parts back? I thought you needed the disrupters."

"Just give me the damn thing! We'll pay for them tomorrow."

"So my theft was justified?"

"I don't have time for this." No, they didn't. And Shego gave her the disrupter and headed back to the lair.

**T-minus 2 hours**

Betty Director used the Kimmunicator to check on progress with Shego. "Kemal confirms you asked him to send a report--"

"Well, Doh!"

"Don't get flip. How soon until the fourth and fifth disrupters are done?"

"The twins say about half an hour -- there'll be no time for more before we need to leave."

"We? You're not Global Justice."

"And you're in no position to bargain. I have the disrupters. My job is to rescue Drakken."

"Then you're in no position to bargain. We go in with or without the disrupters."

"You need help. I'll do this one job cheaply."

"We're Global Justice. We don't hire thieves."

They glared at each other over the screens. Shego blinked first. "Okay, what do I have to do to be a part of this?"

"You can ride with us to Global Justice headquarters, and you can serve as communications link with Mr. Load. It doesn't look like you're in any shape for a fight anyway."

"Okay, I'll accept that."

"You're lying, aren't you?"

"Maybe."

"Well, I made the offer, you can come -- but you really need to think about whether you'll be a help or a problem in your condition."

"Hey, what weapons are you going to use besides the disrupters?"

"We've got a supply of tranquilizer guns and tasers for our attack force."

"Tranqs and tasers? Nothing lethal? Tranqs take awhile to kick in. You're going to be fighting people willing to use lethal force against you."

"And most of them are my own people under mind control. I'm not going to kill my own people."

"Yeah, but they are going to kill you if given the chance -- and then where will Global Justice be?"

"With the disrupters working we'll be gaining allies by the minute. There will be no need for deadly force."

"I wish I had your faith. Any idea what's happening at your headquarters?"

"No idea, I've talked with Agent Duncan, but she doesn't know much. I wish Will Du had come out -- he could give a much clearer tactical view of what we're up against. But in his place I'd have probably sent the junior agent out to safety myself and stayed on to see what I could do. I imagine he'll be at the security entrance when we get there. I hope he's found another agent with a warning chip."

"Oh, talking about lethal force -- what's the medical plan?"

Betty Director mentally swore at herself for missing the obvious, even with the chaos she should have remembered. "Thanks, Shego. I'll have agent Duncan get to work on securing medical personnel from hospitals and the army."

**T-minus 1.25 hours**

The Possible car was parked well away from the rotors on the Blackhawk as they waited for the hovercraft to arrive. Dr. Kemal kept wiping his hands with an already soaked handkerchief -- this was field agent work and it scared him. Betty Director paced nervously. Kim's mom and dad hugged her and wished her luck. Ron was on the Blackhawk with three agents who lived in the Middleton area. A disrupter had been used to take a chip off one of them.

With a whoosh the hovercraft sat down beside the Possible car.

"Cool! A helicopter!"

"Jim! Tim! In your parent's car -- you aren't going with us."

"Ooooh!"

Anne gave Shego a hug and kiss on the cheek, "Good luck."

"Thanks. Call Wade -- ask him to get the hovercraft. I've got a bad feeling I won't be coming back soon -- they're going to arrest me." She handed over a ring of keys.

In her impatience Betty Director almost dragged Shego towards the Blackhawk. "Join me at the controls. I want to know if you see anything else I missed."

**T-minus .75 hour**

Shego set the Blackhawk down just behind the ambulances on the long drive into Global Justice headquarters. It would stop any cars heading in. One disrupter and a battery pack would be left there to make sure chipped agents didn't arrive from behind the attack party. Global Justice security cameras covered the parking lot, but not the entire drive. They had to move quickly.

**T-minus .5 hour**

Duncan, Dr. Kemal and two other agents led the way as they walked towards headquarters. Ron and Kim stayed slightly behind where there was less chance of them being seen and recognized. The four agents carried disrupters connected to Wade's batteries. Kim and Ron had the job of taking out the two WEE agents stationed at the security entrance.

**T-minus .25 hour**

Drakken considered it a failure of the neuro-compliance chip that the person being controlled stayed mentally alert and remembered everything that happened. The Global Justice agents managing the security check considered it the only positive thing about the mind chips. The two WEE agents standing just behind the doors drew guns and came in when they realized something was wrong. Ron and Kim had knocked them out before they had a hint of how badly their plan was going.

"Will, I just turned off the volume to the camera in central security. Should I turn off visual?"

"That will tell WEE that we're trying a rescue."

"Well, they'll sure as hell know it if they can see the visual."

Will kept his back to the camera and pulled a video-cassette from his jacket pocket. "Put this in the camera feed. It's yesterday's tape. If they missed the last sixty seconds we can fool them a little longer."

**0 Hour**

Shego's no-frills Kimmunicator beeped. "Send in the battery packs and the medics, we've secured the entrance."

Shego and Dr. Director emerged, arguing, from an ambulance.

"Who do you think you are, Captain Kirk? You should keep yourself out of harm's way. You get hurt and the whole operation suffers."

"I don't need a felon telling me what to do. You promised to stay in the rear."

"Like you expected me to keep that promise. I need to find Drakken."

"Look at yourself, you're in no condition for a fight."

They quit arguing, there wasn't time. Shego and a Global Justice technician unplugged the disrupters from Wade's small batteries and connected them with the huge packs. Will, Ron, and Kim had been strapped into three of the battery packs. Betty Director wanted the fourth -- but her subordinates over-ruled her. The fourth went to the agent who worked with Shego on the connections.

"This is the main entry point. There are three large exits that aren't normally used. I want them secured. Ron, you know the least about the building. You stay here at the entrance while the other three--"

"Dr. Director?"

"Yes, Kim?"

"Ron moves very well. If Will takes the South exit he will have to go near the east exist. Ron can go with him that far. I'll take the west."

"Okay, move people."

Agents with tranqs and tasers accompanied those carrying disrupters. With no clear sense of the building's interior Shego accompanied Kim.

The 'battle' was essentially an anti-climax to the preparation. Gemini, who didn't realize the power of the neuro-compliance chip could be broken, ordered the mind-controlled Global Justice agents to attack in force. Which simply lined them up for the disrupters. The small group of agents with the disrupter teams swelled in numbers, although they weren't always well armed. It was enough, however, to discourage the WEE agents.

"KP? Bad news."

"What is it Ron?"

"Just captured a WEE communicator. Gemini is telling WEE agents something about killing Drakken."

Shego swore and grabbed the Kimmunicator, "Where is he?"

"Sorry, I don't know."

It was over. Everyone but Gemini seemed to realize it. Most of the small band of WEE agents simply surrendered. Stoppable and Du were using their phase disrupters to free GJ agents. The hard part would be mopping up -- to make sure everyone was located and all the neuro-compliance chips had been removed.

But Gemini still moved through the building, now shooting at anything that moved as he sought to find and kill Drakken, the man he blamed for his failure. He had shot three GJ agents, one seriously, and one of his own men. A Global Justice agent, free from the mind control, kept a compress on the badly wounded man.

"Help is on the way," Kim assured him. "We have open communication now. Medical teams will be here in a minute."

"Stay here with them, Kim, I've got to stop Gemini."

"No, I'm coming with you. You don't know the building."

"No, but I have to--"

"Quiet." Kim spoke into a GJ communicator, "Will?"

"Yes Miss Possible?"

"I've got more than thirty Agents here with free will and four wounded. I'm calling the west exit secure and heading into the building. I need to stop Gemini before people die."

Betty Director's voice broke in, "Leave your disrupter there."

"It will take too long to take it off. Anyone with a mind chip is deeper in the building. I'm taking two agents with tranqs and tasers."

Shego would have preferred to go in alone, but had not recovered enough strength to travel quickly.

Kim took point, with the two agents flanking Shego. They went deeper into the building, into areas where mind-controlled Global Justice agents could still be found. Twice Kim's disrupter freed agents from the compliance chip before they could fire, and once Kim had knock an agent unconscious when there was no time to use the disrupter.

"You're tired, Shego. One of those guys might have had you if you were by yourself."

They heard a shot. "Oh, no. Sounds like the research labs -- probably the best place to look for Drakken." She pulled out the GJ communicator as she ran, "Shot fired in research area. I suspect Gemini and am on my way. Medics requested."

Shego panted as she tried to keep up with the other three.

In the research lab a red-clad WEE agent sat on the floor, holding a hand to his bleeding leg. Unable to move Global Justice research technicians sat at their stations, continuing the make mind control chips. Kim turned on the disrupter and began to sweep the room. Chaos erupted as technicians ducked for cover when the beam hit them. Kim's escort gave her a wide space for free movement, so neither was in a position to see what Shego observed -- Gemini stepping out from behind a large piece of machinery and taking aim at Kim.

Shego threw herself at Kim, knocking her out of the way. She felt the impact and searing pain as the bullet caught her in the back. Red blossomed on the front of her uniform from the exit wound.

"God... It hurts..."

Despite the weight of the battery pack Kim caught Shego before she hit the floor and dove for cover. Shego stared up at Kim, trying to comprehend what was happening.

_"I'm coughing blood -- hit a lung... Not good... Not good..."_

--- The End ---

**Postscript**: I wrote the first two Best Enemies stories on my old computer without a grammar checker. Grammar checkers are stupid devices with no sense of style, but they do catch a variety of things which need correction. There were several reasons I wanted to rewrite Best Enemies:  
•It had a number of small mistakes in it I wanted to correct.  
•Several people commented I had not gotten into the characters' heads well enough, showing their emotions only through their dialog.  
•I hoped to reflect Season 4, although I find it a disappointment. I like Ron and feel they've reduced his role to comedy relief.  
•A Markov suggested an interesting back-story for why Shego contacted Kim.

Feeling a minor need to revise Cognitive Dissonance I edited it some. When I extensively revised Best Enemies I had Kim and Shego make a bet about New Year's Eve and who they would be out with. I wanted to write that scene, which appears here in chapter 11.

Thanks to all readers who enjoy my stories. No point in thanking those who don't -- they haven't gotten this far. Triple thanks to those who leave reviews, you are very much appreciated.


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